


A Libertine Education

by clio



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clio/pseuds/clio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never in a million years did Mino think the most satisfying sexual relationship of his life would be with his boyfriend...and their new neighbor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mainland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mainland/gifts).



 

It starts off as an idea.

It’s Friday night and the usual suspects are gathered around an old dining table – one handed down from one of Seunghoon’s sisters that had been passed to her through a neighbor, and then somehow landing in Mino’s possession once Seunghoon had moved out of their apartment. Four young men sit with loose ties and looser tongues, a good amount of alcohol providing the necessary social lubricant to help them forget their desk jobs and welcome the weekend properly. Taehyun has been chain smoking from the moment he pushed through the front door, and they all make do with the smoke that burns their eyes and lingers on their skin and curls into their lungs because Taehyun is the youngest among them. And because it’s his apartment they’re all gathered in.

The apartment he shares with Mino, that is.

A question comes from Jinwoo as he deals out the next round of cards. “Whose turn is it?”

“Seunghoon’s, I think,” Taehyun says as he lifts the corners of his cards, cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips.

It was a well-known game among them, a mutated form of truth-or-truth in which they all posed questions to the group, and answered them in turn. Since they were all required to answer, the questions tended to be rather tame, lest one revealed some embarrassing about oneself, but occasionally there were questions that shook things up.

This was one such occasion.

With a resounding pop, Seunghoon pulls the lollipop he’s been working on for the last quarter hour from his mouth. “Would you hook up with Seungyoon if you weren’t dating your significant other and the opportunity presented itself?”

Mino answers immediately. “No.”

Meanwhile Seunghoon and Jinwoo eye each other from their seats, a silent battle of wills. And like always, it is Seunghoon who breaks first.

“You know I wouldn’t,” he says resignedly, and while he’s speaking to the room, everyone knows his answer is really for one person only.

Jinwoo’s smile is indulgent bordering on gloating. “I wouldn’t want to either.”

There is a noticeable hush that falls over the threesome as they all turn their gazes toward Taehyun, who simply folds his hand, tossing his cards onto the center of the table.

“Yes,” Taehyun says without even the slightest quiver of hesitation in his voice. He was of the nature that wasn’t used to coddling others, and he refused to be embarrassed about his past, his interests, or his inclinations.

Across the table, Mino frowns.

A smile creeps over Taehyun’s face before he’s laughing and dismissing the whole thing with a wave of his hand. “But as it happens, I am dating Mino, and quite happily, so that scenario is all but impossible.”

He lays a hand, by coincidence or design, on Mino’s leg, giving his thigh a light squeeze, while his free hand moves to flick ash into an empty beer can.

The next question belongs to Taehyun. “How do you even know who Seungyoon is?”

Seungyoon was their neighbor’s nephew, having moved in two weeks ago and taking over Mrs. Kim’s old place at the end of the hall, feeding her cat and watering her plants while she spent a few months traveling the world. Word spread around the building the week previous when Seungyoon had run into some other tenants when he was moving in.

“Oh, we saw this new guy lurking around in the building—”

“He wasn’t lurking,” Jinwoo admonishes his boyfriend while folding his own cards. “We met him in the hallway. He seemed very nice.” It isn’t surprising, this description of the new resident of their hall. Jinwoo considers everyone to be very nice.

Curious, it is Taehyun who responds next. “I haven’t met him yet, but Mino said he might be a musician.”

“I mean, I haven’t had the chance to talk to him much, but the guitar case in his hand seemed a dead giveaway,” Mino clarifies. "He does seem like a polite kid."

“And very straight,” Seunghoon slurs around his lollipop. Next to him, Jinwoo nods solemnly.

And so it was that Kang Seungyoon was allowed to be in possession of a rather sweet and polite disposition, and declared to be, regrettably, heterosexual.

“Right,” Jinwoo says, content to let that be the last word on the topic. He claps his hands together and asks brightly. “Now, who would like some more chips? Ice cream?”

And just like that, the tension in the room breaks, and if anyone notices the pinched expression on Mino’s face, they do well not to mention it.

 

It is only later, when they’re both getting ready for bed, Taehyun sliding in between crisp sheets and Mino in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt, that Taehyun speaks up.

“It doesn’t mean anything, you know. It was just a question. Only a game.”

Mino’s only tell is the slight pause his fingers take before pulling the fabric away from his chest and tossing it into the hamper. His reply is simple and clear, delivered with a quick tilt of his lips that might have passed for a smile before walking into the bathroom and closing the door softly behind him.

“I know.”

 

////

 

With one final sweep of his hair, Seunghoon had followed Mino into the dim bar—if it could really even be called that. It was more a gathering of mismatched tables and chairs strategically placed around a raised slab of concrete that the bar’s employees insisted was a stage. Peeling paint, a shoddily constructed bar top, cheap liquor, and wonky stools rounded out the space, creating the ideal bar for sleep-deprived college students short on cash.

It was not normally the kind of place that Mino and Seunghoon liked to frequent, preferring dance clubs, social mixers hosted by their fraternity, and the occasional purely academic networking event. Dingy, makeshift bars with no name, no prices, and no real addresses weren’t exactly their scenes. Subconsciously, Seunghoon ran a hand through his hair while Mino tugged on the hem of his respectable, but rather dull, plaid shirt.

And yet, the pair found themselves in this bar for two reasons: the first, Seunghoon had recently found out that the boy in his finance class, the very one he’d been harboring a rather obvious and embarrassing crush on since the beginning of the semester, tended the bar on the weekends, and the second, Mino’s all-time favorite musicians were not only in town but also performing a free show for college students in said nameless bar.

All in all, it made for a promising night.

Quickly scanning the area, Seunghoon was easily able to find Jinwoo’s angelic face, pushing through the throng of people already congregating in the small space with Mino at his heels. It was still rather early for the Friday evening show, but Seunghoon had insisted upon their timely arrival, stressing the importance of being able to chat Jinwoo up at the bar prior to the evening’s rush. So Mino had unceremoniously been pulled from his desk an entire hour earlier than he had planned, his term paper all be abandoned as he was shoved into the shower. Meanwhile, Seunghoon had walked into Mino’s closet to pick out his outfit for the evening. They had spent about minutes arguing over Seunghoon’s choice of wardrobe and the appropriateness of paisley—Mino eventually winning—but as he swept his eyes over the casual attire of those around him, he lamented not going with Seunghoon’s picks.

Both Mino and Seunghoon managed to drag two stools to the bar, where Jinwoo was waiting, a generous and patient smile on his face. Introductions were made, handshakes were exchanged, drinks were ordered and delivered, and then Mino was promptly forgotten as Seunghoon tried to, and succeeded in, monopolizing nearly all of Jinwoo’s attention.

Not that Mino much minded. The beer in his hand was cold and crisp, his seat, while a bit on the wobbly side, was perfectly situated to give him a prime sightline of the stage. He felt a little shiver of excitement snake down his back. He couldn’t believe in just a few hours he’d be seeing his favorite group perform before his very eyes. He began to drum his fingers against the rough grain off the bar top in anticipation.

Taking another sip of his beer, Mino glanced at his roommate, and unequivocal best friend since the start of freshmen year, try to land the guy of his dreams. It was actually quite entertaining.

“This seat taken?”

Mino raised his eyes from the rim of his glass to find a stranger at his elbow, looking expectantly down at him. The tall stranger wore his jeans ripped—and paired with a black jacket—his hair blonde and falling across his forehead in that style that was all false nonchalance, and his gaze sharp and discerning.

“Well?” The stranger spoke again, eyebrow lifting.

“N-no,” Mino cleared his throat. “No. It’s all yours.”

The stranger nodded exactly once before dropping into the empty stool next to Mino, their legs bumping. He leaned over and tried to catch Jinwoo’s eye.

“Oh, hey, Taehyun,” Jinwoo smiled warmly when he finally noticed, and recognized, the new arrival. “What will it be today?”

“That depends. Are you still off limits?” Taehyun’s words were ripe with suggestion and not a little flirtation. Jinwoo laughed in good humor and shook his head, his white teeth flashing.

From the corner of his eye, Mino could see Seunghoon's eyes narrow as a knowing, nearly intimate look passed between the bartender and the newcomer. Observing the scene unfolding before him, Mino grabbed at his glass, tipping the contents into his mouth with eager enthusiasm only to end up sputtering and reaching for the damp napkin on the counter. Wiping his mouth and muttering an apology, Mino looked up and found that he had earned the attention of three sets of eyes.

At his elbow, Taehyun’s eyes were sparking in amusement. He dragged his long fingers across his bottom lip as his gaze flickered over Mino in interested appraisal. Instantly, Mino looked away, wishing he hadn’t finished his drink because his hands were longing to do something.

Taehyun leaned in. “Let me buy you a drink.”

It wasn’t a request. He was so close Mino could feel his breath kiss his cheek.

Mino swallowed, forcing himself to stay put and not retreat. “Uh…”

Smirking, Taehyun leaned back but kept staring at Mino, calling over his shoulder. “Hey Jinwoo, a refill here for…”

His words hung heavy in the air.

“Mino,” Seunghoon volunteered from behind Mino’s back. “You can call him Mino.”

“Right.” A slow smile spread across Taehyun’s face, “Mino.”

It was the first time that Mino thought his rather common and ordinary name sounded, well, sensual. Despite himself, he flushed.

Luckily, Jinwoo appeared in front of him, setting down a new glass of the amber liquid, froth spilling slightly over the rim. Jinwoo looked expectantly at Taehyun.

“And I’ll have whatever Mino is having, please.”

It took Mino a moment, too long of a moment, really, to realize that the stranger—no—that Taehyun had just bought him a drink. He stared at the tall glass, fumbling for the proper words to use when one finds themselves in the situation of receiving unsolicited drinks from a stranger.

Jinwoo tilted his head. “You sure? You’re not usually one for beer, I thought.”

“I’m open to new things,” Taehyun redirected his gaze, shooting Jinwoo yet another meaningful glance and adding in a low tone, “As you well know.”

The corner of Jinwoo’s mouth flicked up. “Beer it is.”

Mino was fairly certain that the choking noise behind him was coming from Seunghoon.

After Jinwoo had deposited the requested drink in front of him, Taehyun turned his attentions back to Mino. “Well, Mino,” Taehyun spoke, all honeyed words and pink lips. “Should we toast?”

Mino’s hand was heavy on the bar top. Glancing at his companion, who was smiling brightly up at him, he felt himself give way. This didn’t mean anything—didn’t have to be more than he let it. He reached for his drink, wrapped his fingers around its smooth curve.

“To being young, handsome, and hopefully, laid.”

Clinking glasses, Mino gave Taehyun his first laugh of the evening. And Taehyun looked absolutely delighted.

“You can call me Taehyun,” he offered, dipping his finger into the foam sitting at the top of his beer, and bringing it to his lips. A pink tongue came to lick the froth from his fingertip. If Mino were more naïve he would have passed it off as an innocent incident, but he knew better. He had a feeling Taehyun didn’t do anything by accident.

“Thank you, Taehyun, for this,” he gestured to his half empty glass. “It was nice of you.”

Taehyun leaned in again, resting his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow perched on the bar top. “So, what brings you here tonight?” he asked, eyes once more flicking down Mino’s body. “I take it that it’s your first time at this bar?”

Mino glanced down at his pressed pants and collared shirt, feeling all the more out of place now that someone had noticed how much he stuck out.

“That obvious, huh?” He was smiling.

“Only a little bit,” Taehyun replied, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Then he leaned in even closer, his lips brushing the shell of Mino’s ear as he whispered. “But give it an hour and everyone will be too drunk to notice.”

Hearing this, Mino couldn’t help but laugh.

Suddenly aware of how close they were, the words rushed out of Mino’s mouth. “Uh, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.”

“Is that an invitation?”

Mino almost fell out of his chair.

“Relax, I was kidding,” Taehyun laughed and waved him away while Mino was certain his face was an unbecoming shade of red. He scrambled off his stool, eager to make a quick exit.

“Unless you want me to be serious.”

Mino, once again, stopped in his tracks, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “Um, Taehyun—”

Taehyun laughed again, exposing his teeth as he tossed his head back in mirth. “Again, I was just kidding.”

And this time he let Mino leave without another comment.

 

////

 

Mino didn’t really think that Taehyun was serious about following him into the restroom, but then, just as he pushed the door to the men’s restroom open, he registered rapid footsteps coming up just behind him. In the next second, he found himself being forcefully shoved into the restroom, the noise of the door being slammed shut and locked echoing off the walls in the small space.

When Mino turned around, the last person he expected to corner him in a restroom was Seunghoon, who was staring at him with a wicked gleam in his eye.

“Hoon?” He stared in confusion. “What the hell are you—”

“Let’s talk, Mino.”

“What? This couldn’t have waited?”

“Mino, please,” Seunghoon began excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Mino knew that his friend was only seconds away from doing a little dance. It had always been Seunghoon’s default to express his happiness or excitement through the movement of his body.

“That guy likes you. I think you should go for it.”

“By that guy, I’m assuming you mean Taehyun.”

“Yes, him,” Seunghoon replied in exasperation, over emphasizing his vowels. “This could be good for you. I know you’re still hung up over the one that got away, but honestly, how long do you plan on keeping that up?”

Mino bristled, feeling attacked and not understanding why Seunghoon was choosing to bring his failed romances up here, of all places.

“I am not still hung up on anybody, Hoon. I told you that I’m over it.”

Seunghoon only nodded his head. “Yes, well, you could be more over it if you dated someone. Someone who is clearly interested in you. Someone tall. With blonde hair. Someone with a penchant for black clothing. Hm…where could we find such a person, I wonder.”

“I’m seriously not having this conversation with you right now.” And with that Mino turned away and walked to the furthest urinal to do his business.

“Fine, if you don’t want to date him, don’t.”

Mino gasped when Seunghoon appeared at his elbow. “Jesus, fuck, Seunghoon, get away from me!”

Someone knocked on the door.

“All I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be all angst-ridden romance. Something tells me Taehyun isn’t looking for commitment,” Seunghoon said pointedly.

“Why do you care so much about this?”

The knocking turned into banging on the door.

“Because I can tell you’re interested in him!” Seunghoon’s tone revealed that the thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And because I am your friend, I know that you’re going to suppress whatever part of you that wants to do a tongue dance with our blonde friend out there. And because I am your friend, I am trying to convince you not to do exactly that.”

Mino stood there gaping under the fluorescent lighting in the restroom of that small, nameless bar.

“I’m not saying you should be reckless. But do I think you should loosen up and give this guy a chance? Yes, absolutely,” Seunghoon was looking him with something akin to pity in his eyes.

Sighing, Mino moved toward the sink to wash his hands.

“Talk to him. Enjoy his smiles and his company. If you want to kiss him, assuming he wants to kiss you back, do it. If you both decide you want to do more than kiss, then do it.”

Mino flushed. “And if I decide I don’t want anything more than conversation?”

“Then you shake hands and go home alone at the end of the night,” Seunghoon shrugged his shoulders. “Give him a chance. Really, it’s been ages since you’ve even looked twice at someone. You could use the practice.”

“This is nothing wrong—I don’t need the practice, Hoon!” he sputtered.

There was now shouting accompanying the banging.

Seunghoon only looked at him pointedly. “If you say so.”

“I don’t know how you get me to do half of the things you do,” Mino sighed again as he tossed the wadded up paper towels in his hands into the trash. “Or why I ever listen to you to begin with.”

Triumphant, Seunghoon grinned widely, slapping a hand on Mino’s back. “You won’t regret this.”

“I think I already do.”

Mino finally unlocked the door, swinging it open to reveal a line of people three deep, and a one very flushed gentleman who took one look at Mino and Seunghoon and pushed hard past their shoulders.

“I hope you two bastards wiped the place down at least,” he grumbled.

 

////

 

So that was how Mino had ended up buying the next round of drinks for himself and Taehyun, while Seunghoon trailed after Jinwoo when the bartender when out for his break. It had been over the course of this third glass that Mino realized, after Taehyun toned down the thinly-veiled come-ons, that his companion wasn’t half bad.

Actually, he wasn’t bad at all.

Taehyun was clearly attractive, perhaps not in the traditional sense, but as Mino’s eyes roamed over him once more, he couldn’t help but think that Taehyun’s unconventional looks were what made him so interesting to look at.

He quietly watched as Taehyun’s eyes sparkled as he described, in vivid animation and a proud and indulgent grin on his face, some story about his cats of all things. Mino thought that between the childlike adoration of his pets and the smudged eyeliner, there was obviously a lot more to Taehyun than he had initially thought.

Mino was intrigued, and after another round of drinks were placed in front of them— complete with a conspiratorial wink from Jinwoo— conversation flowing freely between their lips, he found himself not at all opposed to knowing more about the man staring at him over the rim of his glass.

It was another half hour before Seunghoon came strutting up to the bar, goofy smile plastered on his face, and promptly announced that the next round of drinks was on him. Mino was about question Seunghoon’s rather odd behavior (as well as his whereabouts because he hadn’t even seen Seunghoon leave), but he found he didn’t have to when Jinwoo appeared behind the bar not a moment later, looking a bit dazed. Glowing, but definitely dazed.

It didn’t take an astronaut to figure out the cause of Seunghoon’s good mood, and Mino graciously accepted the cloudy concoction his friend thrust into his hand. Even Taehyun got a drink, and he smirked behind his glass as Seunghoon leaned into him and pronounced him not a bad guy at all and Mino could definitely do worse. In fact, he has done worse.

Mino had to drag Taehyun away, bringing them to stand against the far side of the bar, Seunghoon’s cackling laughter echoing behind them.

“So you’ve done worse than me, eh?” Taehyun turned to him, a teasing smile on his lips. Mino swallowed. Taehyun, he decided, had a rather nice looking mouth.

But maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Seunghoon likes to tease, I wouldn’t read into it too much,” Mino found himself saying.

Taehyun pouted, those lips he was admiring turning downwards and it was only then that Mino realized how close together they were, once again. That he was still holding onto Taehyun’s elbow.

Mino let go.

Clearing his throat and looking around the room, Mino saw that a decently sized crowd had gathered, filling all the nooks and spaces of the small bar, and he could feel the beat from the sound system pulse beneath his feet. Turning back, he gasped to find that Taehyun had inched even closer than before, his warm body pressed up against the length of his side. Mino took in a shaky breath even as he willed himself not to cower. Taehyun only pressed closer, lips brushing against his ear when he whispered.

“What to get some air?”

 

////

 

Mino stood in the dark alley behind that nameless bar, watching Taehyun play with the lighter in his hands, flame bursting forth seemingly from his fingertips before extinguishing a moment later. The movement of Taehyun’s wrist, moving rhythmically in the night air was as mesmerizing as it was hypnotic. Mino stared in a kind of daze, as if he’d been put under a spell, but then again he had consumed a fair amount of alcohol this evening and it felt as if it was all catching up to him. And quickly.

But as Mino looked at Taehyun’s face, half in shadows and half aglow from the cigarette hanging from his lip and the flickering light of the flames he commanded in his hands, the thought occurred to him that perhaps alcohol had nothing to do with it.

Whatever it was.

“So, you and Jinwoo.”

It was supposed to be a question, but it came out as something between a statement and an accusation.

In the darkness, Taehyun’s eyebrow rose. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous,” he smirked.

“No,” Mino replied, trying not to slur his words and act casual. “I’m not. I’m just making an observation.”

“Really, an observation. Me and Jinwoo—that’s what you’re going with?”

Mino scoffed, affronted at being so unceremoniously called out. “I’m asking for a friend.”

Taehyun laughed again, a deep, incredulous laugh, and Mino felt his cheeks burn. “I think we should stop dancing around the elephant in the room, don’t you?” he said as he pushed off the wall he was leaning on. Crushing his cigarette under his boot, he approached with measured steps, blonde hair glinting under the lamplight, every bit beautiful in the rising darkness.

“Jinwoo and I are, and have never been more than, friends,” he spoke slowly, his voice full of purpose as he drew closer to Mino. “As much as I hate to divulge the rather boring and unremarkable history between us, I have a feeling it would be to my advantage to make an exception.”

“Your advantage?” There was a definite wobble in his words.

“Jinwoo was my resident advisor when I was lived in the dorms my first year.” Taehyun shrugged, a small smile pulling on the corner of his lips. “I like to tease and he’s always been good at tolerating me. But don’t worry, he seems, I think, quite taken with your friend. Or, at least, he hopes to be.”

Taehyun stopped right in front of him. Close enough to touch.

“And besides he’s not the one I’m interested in.”

Mino felt himself holding his breath as he watched Taehyun reach out to finger the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t want to waste your time and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t waste mine. I like you, Mino, and am very interested in knowing you better. But if you’re not interested in that, well, consider this your ticket out. Just say the word and I’ll leave you alone to babysit your friend and Jinwoo, no hard feelings.”

Mino couldn’t help it. “You want to know me better?”

And there was that smirk again, but softer now. “Yes,” Taehyun whispered, closing the gap between them. He pressed his lips chastely against Mino’s jaw.

“In the biblical sense,” he smiled against Mino’s skin when he didn’t pull away.

In fact, it probably came as more of a surprise to Mino when he looked down to find his hands on Taehyun’s waist, thumbs digging into his hipbones.

“Mino.”

“Hm?”

“If you don’t want this, tell me now.”

For a moment, Seunghoon flashed behind Mino’s eyelids, his words taunting and lingering in his ears. Give him a chance. This could be good for you. 

Mino didn’t answer. Instead, he closed his eyes and kissed Taehyun.

 

////

 

Heated kisses in the alley turned into heavy petting in the backseat of the taxicab en route to Taehyun’s apartment. If Mino had any reservations or hesitation, all of that fell to the way side under Taehyun’s guiding hands, the warmth of his mouth, and the encouraging sighs he couldn’t quite keep silent.

Shameless groping in the taxicab turned into Taehyun clawing at Mino’s shoulders while Mino panted Taehyun’s name like a prayer against his neck.

A night of pleasure between the sheets of Taehyun’s bed turned into several nights of ecstasy found with each other between their beds. When Seunghoon knocked on Mino’s door to deliver the economy term paper he owed, it was a sleep-deprived and shirtless roommate that finally pulled the door open. Mino accepted the paper dangling from Seunghoon’s fingers, but not the smug look on his face as he tried to peer into the room over Mino’s shoulders.

Mino closed the door on Seunghoon’s shit-eating grin.

 

////

 

A series of regular dates between classes—spent both in and out of bed—turned into an honest-to-god relationship. Without quite meaning to, Mino and Taehyun happily ended up in a committed and exclusive relationship.

But that’s not to say that they didn’t have their share of issues.

Taehyun was an art major a year below him, at least that was his major when they had first met. A semester later it was music, which more made sense since Taehyun had grown up playing the piano and was, in his own words, fucking brilliant at it.

Taehyun was always talking on and on about the revolutionary works of so and so, the masterpieces of this person, the unrecognized talent of that person, the tragic and unfortunate end of an artistic genius whose life was ended far too soon. Honestly, Mino found it difficult to keep up.

He had tried, however. He had tried to follow along when Taehyun played music and pointed out all the stylist choices that made it beautiful and brought tears to his eyes. Mino accompanied him to recitals and shows and stood in the circle with Taehyun’s friends and classmates as they discussed the musicality of the evening’s performances. Mino had even borrowed a few books from the library on music theory, having confessed his predicament to the librarian, who patted his hand and gave him a look of sympathy along with this rather large stack of books.

It wasn’t until Taehyun cornered him in the library one evening while he was trying to discretely study up on the differences between baroque and romantic musical compositions. Taehyun had snuck up behind him and pulled the book from his hands. Ever so calmly, Taehyun took the seat next to him and thumbed through the text, eyebrow raised, while Mino wiggled uncomfortably in his seat.

“I didn’t think you liked baroque pianists,” was all he said.

“I don’t,” Mino replied. “Er, I don’t think I do. Honestly, I’m not even sure I know what a baroque pianist sound like to say if I like them or not, but I know you like them so I want to learn.”

Taehyun closed the book. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know I don’t,” Mino reached to take the book back, and Taehyun let him. “I want to.”

He could feel the weight of Taehyun’s gaze, considering him. When Mino finally met his eyes, the expression on his boyfriend’s face was thoughtful.

“You’re very sweet,” Taehyun had said. “And I appreciate that you would be so willing to like the same things I like. Really, I am. I know that all of this doesn’t come easy to you.”

“Or at all,” Mino mumbled.

Taehyun’s smile was sweet. “Right, or at all.”

He reached over and took Mino’s hand in his. Taehyun was all gentleness when he spoke again. “It’s okay to not know all of this stuff. It’s more than okay. I won’t like you any less.”

Mino pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. “But don’t you want me to be able to relate to you with this?”

“Do you want me to be able to relate to you by learning about corporate management?”

“That’s different,” Mino retorted.

“I don’t see how,” Taehyun said simply, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs in an attempt at being laid-back in what felt like the beginning of an argument.

“It is,” he insisted.

Taehyun studied him for a long moment, head tilted in contemplation. “Well, then I suppose I’ll just check out few books on accounting, economics, and—what else are you taking—business ethics?”

“Quit it.”

Ignoring his boyfriend, Taehyun rose from his chair. “But I want to be able to relate to you, and this seems the only way.”

Taehyun had made it around the table and was nearly to the book stacks when Mino’s voice stopped him.

“When we go out to see a new performance, I know the precise moment when you hear something that you think is brilliant, or something that moves you, or something that makes you think about the world differently,” Mino revealed, voice soft.

When Taehyun turned around, Mino wasn’t looking at him. “Mino—”

“You get this look,” he smiled fondly. “This look like you’ve suddenly come alive. Like this is the thing you’ve been waiting for your entire life.”

“It starts there, with your eyes,” he said, gesturing vaguely. “They light up and you’re all wonder and awe. It spreads too. Across your cheeks and lips, pulling the left side of you mouth up just a tad more than the right side. And then it moves throughout your body, and you always start shaking one of your legs. The right one if you’ve heard something you really like.”

Mino laughed lightly, like it was some intimate secret.

“But it is when you’re confused by a piece. When you don’t know what to make of it and you can’t decide whether you hate it or not. You sit so perfectly still that I often wonder if you’re even still breathing.”

Taehyun was speechless, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.

“I can’t help but want to be a part of that,” Mino finished, hand coming to rest in his lap. “I want to be able to stand next to you and share that moment with you. To feel close to you in that moment of wonder.”

It only took Taehyun three steps before he was kneeling in front of him. Reaching out, he gently cradled Mino’s face between his palms, tilting his chin to find his gaze.

“Really, Mino,” Taehyun brushed his thumbs across Mino’s cheeks. “I love you for so many reasons, and even more for wanting to do this for me. But knowing about music or classical composers it isn’t everything. And I wouldn’t trade you being able to list off ten classical pianists over the you as you are.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Taehyun’s smile was beautiful as he leaned in and dropped a kiss on Mino’s nose.

Mino couldn’t help the smile that blossomed across his face, and then it was there, that beautiful shimmer in Taehyun’s eyes that let him know all the words he said were true.

"So..we're okay, then?" Taehyun asked, pulling back.

Mino nodded, smiling and resting his forehead against the other's.

"Yeah, we're okay."

 

////

 

Nearly three years after their fortunate meeting, Taehyun and Mino remained quite happily together.

Mino forgave himself for not knowing the music, yet dutifully showed up on the elbow of every event Taehyun showed even the littlest bit of interest. Over time, he was even able to pick up on a few things, dazzling Taehyun with his elementary knowledge. In the meantime, he finished up his business degree and took up an internship his senior year. While Taehyun finished up his music degree, Mino ended accepting a job at a start up before eventually transferring to Seunghoon’s company and working in the finance department.

Their relationship had progressed naturally.

When they had first met, Taehyun was all mystery and allure—the kind of boy Mino could only fantasize about as a teenager when he was in bed at night and still trying to convince himself that he was going through a phase and that he really did desire his girlfriend. That their relationship wasn’t just based on a honest affection that stemmed from a lifelong tenure as very good friends.

It was noting at all like his relationship with Taehyun, who, from nearly the first minutes of their acquaintance, stirred desire in his gut and sparked heat in his veins. And the longer he was around Taehyun, the further Mino fell. Taehyun had been rough around the edges, sharp, and living with an intensity that he had never known. In short, Taehyun had represented everything that Mino longed for and admired but never thought could be possible for a guy like him. And after his first taste of the forbidden, Mino was addicted.

And while Taehyun never lost his appeal, over the years their relationship changed from raw passion to one that was more sustainable. Taehyun had graduated with high marks, and while he had a few offers for work—not to mention an opportunity to tour with a prestigious orchestra—he had put aside his aspirations for greatness, choosing instead to use his music degree to teach children at a music academy. He played small clubs and bars here and there when he felt like it.

Friday nights were reserved for cards and beer with Seunghoon and Jinwoo, while Saturday mornings were for farmers’ markets and walks in the park. Weekdays were marked by quick kisses before catching trains, by home-cooked meals and folding laundry over an open bottle of wine, by snuggles before bed, and, on occasion, for nights having perfectly polite sex with the lights off.

Mino had no cause for complaint.

Except.

Except that sometimes, just sometimes, Mino catches a look on Taehyun’s face when he thinks he’s alone or unnoticed. It barely lasts for a moment but the flash of longing on his face gives Mino the impression of a beautiful, wild animal trapped in a cage of domesticity. And it makes Mino feel like his captor, someone whose love of this beautiful, wild thing has forced them into a space he never should be. Mino is afraid that his love is breaking Taehyun’s spirit—the very one he covets and admires in the same breath.

He is terrified that he already has.


	2. Part Two

Enter Seungyoon.

He finally knocked on their door a few days later, dutifully making his rounds to each apartment on their floor, formally introducing himself and producing a small basket of homemade cookies as a token of friendship and good-will.

Mino and Taehyun had just finished eating dinner and were cleaning up—Mino was washing the dishes while Taehyun was flipping through his record collection for a little night music. He had just put the needle down on vinyl when there was a knock at the door. 

Seungyoon had visited for no more than 20 minutes, but it was abundantly clear as they sat around the kitchen table with tea and coffee and milk, munching on the cookies that Seungyoon had brought, that he and Taehyun had a lot in common.

Seungyoon was just a year younger than Taehyun and had recently moved to the city, not only to look after his aunt’s apartment and water her plants, but also to be inspired, hopefully meet some producers and work on his music.

Of course he was a musician.

“It’s nothing to brag about, not in comparison to the musicians here, but I had quite a decent following back home,” Seungyoon had told them. “And when my aunt said I could stay in her apartment while she was away, I jumped at the chance. I have a friend who works at a recording studio not too far away. I’m hoping to record a demo.”

Glancing at Taehyun, Mino could see that old familiar sparkle in his boyfriend’s eye. It had been a while since he’d last seen it. 

So, naturally, they hit it off right away.

It was a unique sensation, suddenly feeling like the odd person out in his own home. Mino watched as Taehyun and Seungyoon talked music—from songs they liked to rumors of albums from bands Mino had never heard of—and somewhere in the midst of it, Taehyun offered his musical talents should Seungyoon ever find himself in need of a classically trained pianist or just someone to show him where all the best music spots in the city were.

Seungyoon looked delighted. “I just might take you up on that,” he said with boyish smile. “I don’t really know many people here, so I mean, if you wouldn’t mind…”

“Not at all,” Taehyun replied, reaching for another cookie. “Mino and I would be happy to show you around whenever.”

Seungyoon seemed surprised by this, eyes shifting towards Mino and lingering. “Well, if you’re sure…” 

“Absolutely,” Mino found himself saying with a smile that felt sturdy. “Just say when.”

And with that, Seungyoon left with their phone numbers and a promise to meet them that coming weekend for what Taehyun laughingly described as a date.

 

////

 

Saturday evening was spent rather pleasantly. 

Or, at least it was not discernibly different from any other time Mino had attended a show and felt out of place while Taehyun charmed everyone around him. Luckily, Mino hadn’t been the only one feeling out of place. Seungyoon was noticeably nervous as Taehyun introduced him to one person after the next, looking every bit like the country boy come to the big city kid that he was. 

They had stood in a loose circle, and Mino observed as Taehyun fielded questions about why he was wasting his time and talent teaching when he clearly had the skills to make it. 

Taheyun had just smiled. “I enjoy working with the kids,” he replied.

It had become so rehearsed by that point, Mino had almost believed him. 

On their way home, Taehyun and Seungyoon declare the night a success, and that it was definitely something they needed to do again, and very soon. To which Mino just smiled, nodding absently. 

 

“He really is a nice kid.” Taehyun yawns against his shoulder when they’re back in their apartment.

“He is,” Mino replies.

“He thinks you don’t like him,” Taehyun peaks at him through his eyelashes, an amused smile on his face. “But I told him that your face is just like that. What is it called? Resting Bi—”

“Taehyun.”

Taehyun laughs and the sound fills all the empty spaces in him. “I’m only kidding,” he says, reaching up to drag a finger over Mino’s cheek. “It is a very handsome face.”

Mino catches his hand and places a kiss on the rough pads of his fingertips. “I’m glad you think so.”

“More people would think so too,” Taehyun teases, “If you could, you know, not look so constipated all the time.”

Mino sighs. “You said it earlier, my face is just like this.”

Taehyun hums, laying his head back down on Mino’s shoulder. “So do you really not like Seungyoon?”

“It isn’t about liking him or not liking him. I’m still trying to get to know him,” he states quietly, taking Taehyun’s hand and rubbing his thumb over his palm. “I’m not like you. It isn’t as easy for me to make friends.”

Taehyun yawns again, eyes drooping, “He's a harmless kid, Mino. Don't be so hard on him.” 

 

////

 

On Wednesday, Mino gets a text message from Taehyun informing him that Seungyoon would be joining them for dinner, and could Mino please pick up a bottle of wine on his way home. Seungyoon, it seemed, had asked to hear Taehyun play and naturally Taehyun invited him to stay for a meal.

It had been…nice.

Mino had put in some effort to try and befriend Seungyoon, rather than just being a spectator in his blossoming friendship with his boyfriend. So Mino had driven the evening's conversation, asking Seungyoon questions about his life and listening attentively to his answers, even going as far as to give a few recommendations here and there. Taehyun was right, after all. Seungyoon was a kid far away from home who was nervous about coming to the big city. He could use all the help he could get. 

And, it seemed his efforts hadn't gone unnoticed, as Taehyun had leaned over and kissed his cheek right there in the middle of their living room, Seungyoon present and all. 

 

"Thank you," Taehyun says later that night after they’ve climbed into bed. 

"For?"

"Don't play dumb," Taehyun tsks. "You know what for. I knew there was more to you than your bank account and handsome face."

Mino chuckles. “I think you really surprised Seungyoon,” he says, changing the topic. “Even he seemed shocked at how well you play.”

Taehyun moves to tuck his head under Mino’s chin. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. These hands are magical.” 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Mino mumbles before lowering his head to claim Taehyun’s lips in a chaste kiss. “I know very well what those hands are capable of.” 

Mino slows his breathing as much as possible, concentrating on the feeling of Taehyun’s body curling around his. Affection, contentment, and even a little of possessiveness wash over him, as he pulls Taehyun closer to him. Mino swears he can feel every throb of his heart in his chest, and he relishes in the fact that only Taehyun can make him feel this way.

"I was just wondering…" he starts and bracing himself for what's to come. "Why these magical hands aren't out there doing magical things."

Taehyun pulls out of his arms, sighing. "Not this again," he groans. "I told you, I like my job."

"But are you happy, Taehyun?"

He looks up at Mino, his eyes reflecting pure adoration. "Better than happy," he replies. 

"I'm in love."

 

////

 

On Friday night, Jinwoo and Seunghoon are back in their apartment, cards being passed around along with well-meaning jabs and the occasional quip about some embarrassing story told hundreds of times before, when Taehyun looks up from his phone.

“Seungyoon is asking if he can tag along with us when we go to the market tomorrow,” he says, inquiring gaze on Mino.

Caught off guard, it takes Mino longer than he would have liked to respond. "That's fine." 

“Seungyoon?” Jinwoo asks, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Your neighbor, Seungyoon?”

“The same one,” Taehyun replies easily. “We’ve been hanging out a little bit here and there.”

“Really?” Seunghoon’s expression is veiled, but Mino knows him too well. 

Apparently, so does Taehyun, because he doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes, Mino and I have been showing him around. He’s new to the city and doesn’t know very many people,” he states. “We’re all friends,” he adds pointedly.

“How…wonderful,” is all that Seunghoon says, returning to his pizza slice and taking a large bite.

Mino cuts in, wanting to dissolve the mounting tension between his best friend and his boyfriend. He turns to Taehyun. “Can you let him know to be ready by 8?”

He doesn’t have to look at Seunghoon to feel his gaze, heavy as it was on his shoulders.

 

////

 

“How was your play date with the new guy?” Seunghoon asks the following Monday morning. He is leaning against the doorframe to Mino’s office, half-eaten apple in hand.

Mino only briefly glances up from his spreadsheet. “Fine.”

Seunghoon invites himself in, dropping into one of the office chairs opposite Mino’s desk and taking a rather large bite from the fruit, juice dripping from his hand and onto Mino’s carpet. He chews loudly and studies Mino, but makes no attempt at speaking.

“If you’re just going to sit there being obnoxious, please do so in your own office,” Mino says as he inputs a few more numbers into the file he’s working on. “I’m busy.”

Seunghoon only takes another crunching bite.

Mino does his best to ignore his friend, a valiant effort of all of thirty seconds, before he pushes away from his desk and glares irritably at Seunghoon. “Did you need something?”

“I’ve got approximately 15 minutes until my next meeting,” Seunghoon supplies by way of an answer. “I suggest you use that time wisely.”

Swiveling slightly in his chair, Mino rolls his eyes. “It really was fine. We all crammed into the back seat of a taxi and went out to the bay front and walked around the market for a few hours. Squash blossoms are in season and are practically a steal right now, just so you know.”

Seunghoon finishes his apple and tosses the core into the trash before pulling tissues from their box and wiping down his sticky fingers.“Sounds like fun.”

Mino shoots him a look. “I know what you’re thinking, Seunghoon.”

Seunghoon smirks. “I seriously doubt that.”

Mino can't help but roll his eyes once more.   
“In truth, I’m grateful for Seungyoon. Taehyun—well, I’m glad he has someone to he can express himself with. That he doesn’t have to dumb things down for. You know I was never good at all the music stuff.” 

Seunghoon just barely manages to stifle his chuckle.

“And it’s been nice to see Taehyun open up like that again. I think, after a while, he stopped trying with me. So whatever feelings I might have regarding their relationship, I can certainly put them aside if that means Taehyun gets a friend.”

“You sound very noble indeed, Mino,” Seunghoon quips before leaning forward. “And you’re certain you’re not jealous?”

Mino is silent for a long time, legs bumping into his desk as he swivels back and forth in his chair. “Do you—Would you say that Seungyoon is attractive?” he asks halting. "I'm not asking if you find him attractive, because we both know you've got tunnel vision for Jinwoo, but, I mean, in general. Do you think people would find Seungyoon attractive?" 

Seunghoon taps his fingers against his mouth, amused. "I think so, yes."

To which Mino says, almost petulantly, "Right, I think so, too."

"But that's not the question you wanted to ask," Seunghoon smirks. "You want to know if I think Taehyun is attracted to Seungyoon."

Flushing, Mino bites his lip and nods. 

Leaning back in his chair, Seunghoon locks his hands behind his head. “Well, he did say he’d totally bang him if he had the chance.”

Mino winces at the memory. “Thanks for that reminder.”

“We both know I’m not here to coddle your feelings, Mino, but to give you useful advice, and that is to get your stubborn ass to talk to Taehyun. I know you. You’ll try to resolve this on your own, harboring your feelings and insisting that everything is just fine, but we all know in a few weeks time you’ll have lost that fight and will come crawling to me desperate for advice. Most likely after you’ve gone something dumb. So let me just save us some strife and dispense it now: You’re an idiot. Talk to Taehyun.”

“You’re a wonderful friend, have I ever told you that before, Seunghoon?” he deadpans.

“Not nearly as much as you should.” Glancing down at his watch, Seunghoon stands. “Well, my 15 minutes are up. I’ll charge you the usual rate, then?” 

Mino waves a hand. “A dozen doughnuts delivered to your desk in the morning, got it.”

Seunghoon grins. “Perfect. Great doing business with you.”

 

////

 

Mino wasn’t too proud to admit that, between the two of them, Taehyun was the more experienced lover. During those first few weeks of what seemed like endless attempts of getting their sexual desires out of their systems, Mino felt like a new initiate of some ancient holy order where orgasms were the business of the day—and Taehyun was his both his partner and teacher, guiding him through rounds of enlightenment. 

While he was certainly grateful to reap the benefits of Taehyun’s sexual prowess, once they saw that the nameless thing blossoming between them tilted a lot closer to serious than casual on the relationship scale, inevitably, there came the conversation about their sexual history.

He had always been rather vanilla as Seunghoon had once said with an accompanying clasp on the back that was more pitying than comforting. But where Mino had no skeletons hiding in his closet, it seemed like Taehyun had far too many. 

Mino had never considered himself quite a prude, but weeks spent in Taehyun’s bed had certainly opened his eyes to a richer realm of pleasure. He felt that there was now very little that could shock him or make him blush, that is, until Taehyun looked up at him and answered his probing question without just the slightest shrug of his shoulders.

“I enjoy unconventional sexual relationships.”

Mino nearly choked on his cereal, one of those colorful marshmallow bits lodging in his throat at his gasp of shock. It was barely 8 o’clock in the morning—far too early to be talking about such things. They were still eating breakfast for crying out loud.

At least Taehyun was because Mino promptly pushed his bowl away. “Say again?”

“I enjoy consensual sex with multiple partners, sometimes at the same time, but not always.”

Mino made a little gurgling sound and blinked at the man he had called his boyfriend for all of one week.

"What?" Taehyun said innocently. "You asked."

"Right," Mino nodded, feigning nonchalance. "S-So, like, what do you mean, exactly? Are we talking like, um, like orgies or…or, uh—"

"Polyamorous relationships mostly. Last relationship I had was a triad, but that didn't last long," Taehyun supplied, smirking at how round and large his boyfriend's eyes became. "Got a bit messy."

He paused briefly before laughing aloud. "Figuratively, but you know, literally too."  
Coughing, Mino managed to wheeze out, "Oh, yeah, I can see that," with what he hoped sounded like a chuckle.

"We're—" Taehyun gestured to the space between them with his fork, "We're okay, right?" 

"Of course," Mino nodded stiffly. "We're always okay."

Heavy tension settled over them as Taehyun observed how just how okay Mino was. He watched Mino drown his marshmallow animals in milk with his spoon. 

Sighing, Taehyun put down his fork and gave Mino a look honed from having had this conversation far too many times. If he had to give it a name, Mino would say that Taehyun looked somewhere between nervous and grim.

“It’s not cheating, let’s just get that out of the way first,” Taehyun began quite matter-of-factly. “Everyone involved is in agreement and terms are always clear. It’s not cheating, because we’re open and honest with each other.”

“B-But,” Mino sputtered, grasping for words even as his world was pulled from under his feet, “But why?”

Taehyun calmly leveled with him. “Why not?”

“I don’t understand—you mentioned old boyfriends, I’m sure of it.”

“I probably did mention them. I wasn’t lying, I have had boyfriends before. Serious ones.”

“So then why,” Mino was incredulous. “Why would you go outside of your relationship for a fling? Didn’t you love them?”

“Of course, I did,” Taehyun snapped, his calm demeanor finally giving way. “This isn’t about trying to prove something, or not being able to commit. It’s not even about finding something lacking in my relationships or some bullshit like that. I was in completely committed relationships with every single one of my boyfriends and I loved them very much.”

Mino pushed away from the table and began to pace, his mind racing almost as fast as his heart. Sure, he had expected that Taehyun might have had a storied past, but he hadn’t expected this. And why couldn’t Taehyun have told him about his before they decided to stop fooling around and get serious? Didn’t he deserve that, at least?

“This is about recognizing that you are a complex person who has layers of needs. And that those needs can’t be fulfilled by just a single person. No one can be everything to you, right?” Taehyun said, eyes tracking Mino’s agitated movements.

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Being in polyamorous or triad relationships doesn’t invalidate the genuine connection and affection you have for another human being. They can be just as fulfilling as monogamous relationships—more so, even, as the argument goes.”

Suddenly, Mino stopped in his tracks, his heart sinking.

Taehyun sighed from where he still sat at the table with his now cold breakfast. “Look, I know it is a lot to take in at once—”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” 

There was a change in Mino’s voice, just a hint of something but enough to give Taehyun pause. It made him consider his words carefully, because to him, Mino sounded awfully close to bitter regret.

“Because it doesn’t have to be a big deal,” he said quietly but firmly as he stared at Mino’s back and waited for a reaction.

Mino scoffed. “Right, sure.”

“It doesn’t,” Taehyun insisted. “Will you please come sit down?”

“You said you enjoy open relationships. As in, you still like them. Still prefer them.”

Finally, Mino turned around, heartbreak clear on his face. 

“What does this mean for us?”

Abandoning his seat, Taehyun stood slowly. “It doesn’t have to mean anything—”

“Because, you know, I feel tricked,” Mino confessed, words thick in his throat. “Does this mean you’ll cheat on me if I just want a boring old monogamous relationship with you?”

“Mino—”

“Or does this mean we’re breaking up?” And he cursed the tears threatening to overwhelm him. 

Taehyun was quiet. “Is that what you want?” he asked, hands clenched at his sides.

“Is that what you want?” Mino cried, voice cracking. “Because I’m have a difficult time trying to understand why my boyfriend is suddenly telling me that I will never be good enough for him.”

“That’s what you think, then,” Taehyun replied, his own voice thick with emotion. “That’s what you think of me?”

“I don’t know what to think!” Mino shook his head, pinching the tears that were slipping from his eyes. “You talk about trust and honesty and being open, but then you’ve been keeping a secret like this from me. And I just—I feel cheated and tricked because I like you, Taehyun, I like you a lot. But I can’t give you that. I won’t. And I have no idea where that leaves us because I don’t know what it is that you want from me.” 

Taehyun bit his lip to keep it from trembling, but even then, Mino could his the shaking of his jaw. Taehyun’s own face was wet with tears but he stubbornly refused to wipe them. 

“I just want you,” he whispered brokenly. “I just want you, Mino.”

“I don’t see—” Mino began.

But Taehyun cut him off. 

“I meant it when I said that it didn’t have to be a big deal. We don’t have to make it a big deal.” He sniffled. “I knew what I was doing when you asked to be boyfriends. I made the decision then that I would be with you, and only you, because I like you so damn much.”

“But you just said that you can never be satisfied with just one partner.”

“I know what I said,” Taehyun grit out. “But I also think that if there was ever a person who could, oh god, complete me, as they say, I think you’re as close as anyone’s ever going to get.”

Mino stood, stunned, his mind reeling. “I don’t know, Taehyun. That sounds to me like you’re settling,” he states rather lamely, the fight drained from his words.

“I’m not, I promise,” Taehyun grabbed onto hope and clung tightly. Tentatively, he stepped closer to Mino, inching slowly forward. “I want this with you. I want you.”

He now stood in front of Mino, close enough to touch but his arms remained at his sides. Taehyun was right there, offering himself and everything his heart had to give, if only Mino would take that last step to close the distance between them. Taehyun had been the one to make the first move, and Mino knew it was left to him to close the gap between them. To choose him. 

“Please don’t turn your back on what we could be because of this,” Taehyun whispered and Mino felt his breath like a caress on his cheek. “For me, it is a non-issue.”

“I can’t—I still don’t know, Taehyun,” he said and Mino’s inner conflict showed on his face, his features full of confusion and heartache. “I just—how will I know—what if you decide one day that you want more than this, than me? I don’t know if I—” 

It was difficult for Mino to articulate his thoughts when he felt like his mind was swimming.

“I think I need some time to think about this,” he muttered eventually.

From so close a distance, Mino could see disappointment and pain flash in Taehyun’s eyes before immediately being chased away—a wall lowered, one that Taehyun retreated behind. 

“How just much time do you think you’ll need?” he asked tightly, fists again clenched at his sides. 

Mino almost reached out to him. And yet—

“I don’t know,” he whispered instead. “I—I’ll call you.”

Taehyun laughed bitterly. “You’ll call me,” he repeated as he shook his head. “So that’s how it is, then.”

“No, that’s not how anything is,” Mino argued. “I just need some space. A few days. This is not a break up, Taehyun.” 

And if he noticed the slight quiver of Taehyun’s jaw, he didn’t comment on it. Mino watched as Taehyun raised his chin proudly. 

“Whatever.”

 

A few days ended up being nearly two weeks.

It took Mino that long to drag himself to Taehyun’s place, to muster the courage to knock three times on the old, chipped door. A handful of seconds, and the door swung open to reveal a haggard looking Taehyun in ratty gray sweatpants. 

“So much for calling,” he spat and tried to close the door on Mino’s face.

It took nearly 20 minutes for Taehyun to finally let Mino inside the apartment, and even after that, it was another 5 minutes before they moved into the living room.

“Listen, Taehyun, I—”

“You know, I think this could work,” he interrupted, agitated. “I think this could be something really good. But if you’re going to make me feel guilty for my past or my preferences, or be jealous of things that I don’t have control over, then you can forget it. I won’t waste my time being made to feel bad because of your insecurities. Not when you’re so unsure about me.”

Mino stood speechless. This was not how he imagined this to play out.

“I’m not going to say that I won’t be attracted to other people. That would be ridiculous to claim and an impossible promise to keep,” Taehyun said honestly. 

At his words, Mino felt his insides squeeze tightly. The thought that Taehyun would just let go, would be the one to walk away, sent him reeling. 

“But at the end of the day I would still choose you, you idiot asshole,” Taehyun continued from where he was perched on the armrest of his couch. “I would still choose us.”

“Because you’re the one I want,” he added softly, fingers coming to play with the worn fabric of the cushions.

Taehyun looked at him then, so beautiful in his vulnerability, so defenseless and fragile with his bleeding heart, and Mino felt all of the affection he carried for Taehyun hum through his veins. He wanted, so much, to reach out and soothe all the worries written on his face.

“I was going to say,” Mino said gently, “that I don’t want to miss out on this. On you. But I’m going to need you to be patient with me. I don’t really know how poly or triad relationships work, I will probably have a lot of questions.”

Taehyun’s gaze was piercing as he sat there, torn between wanting to believe Mino and wanting to protect himself in case it wasn’t what the thought. “Alright, I can do that,” he agreed, guardedly. Then, eyes narrowing, “Are you sure?”

Mino offered him a shy smile, the first in a long time. “Positive.”

“Okay,” Taehyun exhaled, clearly relieved, and he blinked several times as if his mind were still catching up with this surprising turn of events. “Okay then.”

It was then that Mino took his first steps tentative steps towards Taehyun. Drawing close, he lifted a hand to trace the curve of Taehyun’s cheek. He was amazed that it was still so soft, that it hadn’t just been his longing and loneliness that had made it so in his memory. Taehyun’s pale skin still gave way to his fingertips in just such a manner that made Mino smile. 

Taehyun didn’t move to touch him in turn, instead choosing to sit still and let Mino explore him, eyes wide and imploring as he gazed up at Mino.

“I have my faults and insecurities,” Mino’s words were as gentle as his touch. “But I swear I will never judge you or make you regret trusting me.”

And when a smile finally broke clear across Taehyun’s face, every feature radiating pure joy, Mino swore his heart stuttered in his chest. 

“Thank you.”

 

They spent the rest of the evening on the couch, talking over things. Mino had been quite unashamed about his curiosities, and Taehyun had been both patient and obliging. As the hours slipped past, they shared tender kisses, sweet caresses, and the flutter of wonderful things to come.

“I’m sorry about keeping things from you. I was just so scared about how you'd take it, and…and I won’t do so again,” Taehyun whispered from his place in Mino’s arms. The pair of them really were too big for his couch, legs dangling off one end and barely enough room for the two of them lying side by side, but neither of them were much in a hurry to move. As it turned out, they were plenty comfortable as they were.

They made a promise to each other that night, sealed appropriately and officially with a kiss, that they would always be honest with one another. To not keep secrets. To be open with their needs and feelings about their relationship. 

It was one that served them well over the many months and years ahead. 

 

 

Until it didn’t.

////

 

Things carried on with Seungyoon becoming increasingly involved in their lives.

Even Jinwoo and Seunghoon had warmed to him—naturally, Jinwoo quicker than Seunghoon—and now he was included in the Friday poker nights. It’s during one of these Friday night gatherings that it inevitably comes up. 

“So, you’ve really never been with a guy before?” Seunghoon asks before biting into a cookie. 

All conversation stops as attention is directed towards Seungyoon, who sits with wide unblinking eyes, a blush creeping up his neck. Mino wants to smack his best friend, because leave it to the guy with the least tact to ask the first question of the night.

That being said, it wasn’t as if he weren’t a little curious to know the answer.

“Um,” Seungyoon rubs his hands down the legs of his jeans. “I thought the questions weren’t supposed to be directed at a specific person?”

Seunghoon’s head rolls with his eyes. “Fine. Truth or Truth?”

“Truth,” Seungyoon replies, head tilting in amusement.

Seunghoon smirks, re-formulating his question. “Have you ever been with a guy? I’ll go first: yes.”

“Yes.”

“Obviously.”

“Yes.”

They all turn back to the newest addition to the group.

“And then there was one,” Seungyoon says with a nervous chuckle. Takes a deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Wait, what? I thought you were straight. No?” Jinwoo looks around the table as if to see if anyone else is just as surprised by the news. He is relieved to find that everyone looks just as perplexed as he does.

“I think it’s my turn to ask a question, right?” Seungyoon says instead, clapping his hands and skillfully dodging the question. Much to their consternation. 

Seungyoon takes his time thinking of what he wants to ask. “So, since we’re going to be crude,” he starts by way of explanation. “Just how far have you gone with a woman?”

“Only a bit of fondling in a closet at a frat party my first year,” Jinwoo says a bit shyly, a faint blush staining his cheeks. “I’ve always grown up getting a lot of attention from girls—it’s the face, I can’t help it—but I was pretty certain early on that I liked boys. Still, I wanted to confirm it so…”

“I had a girlfriend all throughout high school. What do you think?” Mino replies with a shrug. 

Seunghoon raises his hand. “Also had a couple girlfriends. We did everything.”

“I’ve also done everything with a woman,” Taehyun smirks, a mischievous glint in his eye. “And then some.”

“Oh,” Seungyoon blinks, as if trying to figure out what exactly that could mean. “I, um, I’m not a virgin and I’ve dated a few women seriously, so…” 

“But not exclusively.”

Seungyoon smiles wryly. “It sounds like there’s a question in there somewhere.”

“Merely an inference,” Seunghoon shoots back easily.

He gives in.

“I’ve dated women exclusively,” Seungyoon clarifies, each word measured. “But I haven’t exclusively dated women.”

It takes a moment to sink in. 

Jinwoo gasps.

Mino blinks.

“Huh,” Taehyun hums, the corner of his mouth tilting up. He rubs a finger over his bottom lip.

Seunghoon whistles. “Well, I’ll be damned. We all thought you liked women. Exclusively.”

Seungyoon finds Taehyun’s eye. “Yes, well…” he trails off, shrugging one shoulder. “Not exclusively,” he mumbles.

Taehyun smiles.

Mino observes this interaction from across the way, considering, before Jinwoo taps on the table with his knuckles to get everyone’s attention. “Are we ever going to start playing? Who’s dealing?”


	3. Part Three

Once an idea is planted, very little is needed for it to take root.

And grow. 

 

////

 

Surprising enough, the request comes from Mino the following Wednesday evening. 

“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” Taehyun frowns. “Because it isn’t funny.”

“It’s not a joke,” Mino states, frowning in turn. “I’m completely serious.”

“No,” Taehyun stands and makes his way into their bedroom. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

Taehyun whirls. “Why not? Have you gone mental?” Taehyun’s long legs bring him across the living room. “Mino, come on. That is a terrible idea.”

“I think it could work. I mean, if Seungyoon were up for it.”

At this, Taehyun laughs. “Oh, right. As if your idea of asking Seungyoon to join us as a third wasn’t the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard, there’s just that little teeny tiny detail of him saying no, and you can only imagine how awkward it would be in the elevators after that.”

Taehyun’s laughter is manic. “Just forget about it,” he dismisses the idea wholly, waving a hand in the air. “Ridiculous!”

“I don’t think it’s too ridiculous to consider,” Mino offers quietly, his voice both timid and hopeful. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

The effect of Mino’s words is immediate. 

“You might be willing to experiment,” Taehyun stands up, serious now in the face of Mino’s sincerity. “But I’m not. I won’t put us through an experiment, fuck.”

“Why not? I am saying I am okay with it,” Mino argues.

“And why is that exactly?” Taehyun snaps. “Why are you suddenly okay with bringing in other partners into our relationship? Did you think about that, genius, while you were hatching your brilliant idea?”

“I know what I am about,” Mino retorts. “I know what I’m asking.”

Taehyun scoffs. “Like hell you do,” he says before marching right up to Mino and shoving a finger into his chest. “Don’t you get it? This will change everything! And there isn’t going to be enough I’m sorrys to make things go back to the way they were.”

Mino scowls. “You don’t think I know this?” He swats Taehyun’s hand away. “You don’t think I considered and weighed and agonized over every angle before coming to you? I’m not an idiot.” 

Taehyun turns a deaf ear. “No, I won’t do this,” he declares. “You may think you know what this it about. Hell, you’ve probably thought this through a million different ways in your head. But that’s all that is. A simple intellectual understanding.”

He shakes his head, and for the first time Mino thinks Taehyun looks scared. “You don’t—you couldn’t possibly know how this will affect you emotionally. And if you decide to regret it, it’s already too late.”

“So, no, I won’t do this,” Taehyun states resolutely. “Don’t ask me again.”

 

 

He doesn’t listen. Mino corners Taehyun an hour later in their bedroom. Taehyun scoffs, ready to push away and storm out of the room, when Mino catches him around the waist and drops his head onto Taehyun’s shoulder, halting his escape.

“Please, Taehyun,” Mino says desperately, his voice thick with emotion. “Please hear me out.”

Taehyun sighs.

“Why do you suddenly want to do this so badly?” he asks. “You never expressed wanting to invite anyone else to our bed before. Why now? Why Seungyoon?”

“Because,” Mino says quietly. “Because you’ve done so much for me. Given up so much to be with me. It’s not fair that you’re the only one making compromises. Making sacrifices.”

“It’s not a sacrifice—” 

“I want you to know that you can ask me for this,” he replies, lifting his head from Taehyun’s shoulder. He traces each and every one of the younger boy’s features with his eyes. “It’s okay.”

Taehyun opens his mouth, but words refuse to make themselves known.

Mino reaches up to smooth the crease between his boyfriend’s eyebrows. “And… I see how you look at him. Sometimes. And I see how he stares at you. He’s interested.”

“I don’t look at him like anything!” Taehyun reels back. “And he doesn’t stare at—what are you even saying?”

“It pains me to think about you wanting other people,” Mino admits, taking Taehyun’s hands and kissing his palms. “And I know that you would never cheat on me. But I also can’t help but feel that I’m somehow repressing you.” 

“You’re not.”

He shakes his head. “When we met you were all hard edges with attitude for days,” he says fondly, remembering when Taehyun’s hair was blonde and how striking it looked under the streetlight of that alley. “I miss that.”

Mino’s fingers find their way into the dark stands of Taehyun’s hair. “You’re so soft now,” his whispers at the softness he finds at the ends of his fingertips “All your edges are gone. You barely go out to shows these days, and you…you teach little kids music, for crying out loud.” 

He takes a staggering breath. “Did I do this? I ask myself. Did I take something wild and raw and lonely and make it tame and quiet and at home in its cage?” 

“You did make me do anything!” Taehyun cries, pulling away. “If I’m different, it’s because I wanted to be. I chose this, remember? I chose you.”

“But at what cost to yourself?” Mino says despairingly. “I want to do this for you, Taehyun. I need to. I want to be everything you need. Give you everything want.”

“You already do.”

But Mino just shakes his head. “Don’t you miss it? You can’t tell me you don’t think about it. That you don’t actively repress your thoughts. Your desires.” 

Taehyun opens his mouth to protest, but he finds he doesn't quite have the words. Embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, he looks away.

“We can try it out once. See how we feel,” Mino says softly, beseechingly. “If we both want it, we can have it together. I want to at least try—for you, of course, but for us as well.” 

Taehyun is quiet for a long time as he runs Mino’s words through his head a thousand times over. There is little doubt that he’s frightened and nervous about what this could mean. How it could change them. But he also can’t deny that there is a flare of excitement in his stomach, a breathless whisper of anticipation licking at the base of his spine. 

“You have to promise me,” he starts, voice quivering. “Promise me that the second you feel uncomfortable or want to quit, you have to tell me.”

“I will.”

“I’m not kidding, Mino,” Taehyun grits out. “We have to be honest with each other or this won’t work. And I won’t agree to this if you’re just going to push yourself too far to please me. I won’t have that. You have to promise.”

Mino raises his right hand as if he’s taking an oath. “I solemnly swear.”

Never in a million years would he think he would agree to something like this with Mino. Taehyun has never lied. His heart has never strayed from Mino since that first night in that nameless bar. He, quite honestly, fell in love at first sight. Mino, it turned out, was everything that he never knew he wanted.

Yes, his life is a little different from what he imagined it would be. But that isn’t to say that Taehyun has any regrets. He is quite taken the life he has with Mino. The life they built together. Every day he comes home to evidence of a shared life. Of two people taking a chance on one another and growing, day by day, closer together.

And it’s not to say that Mino is terrible in bed. Not at all. They hadn’t spent the first few weeks of their courtship rutting against each other on every surface they could find because Mino was a shitty fuck. 

But just the thought of being intimate with Mino in this other, new way, of initiating him into something more, made Taehyun’s pulse quicken. A million possibilities flutter behind his eyelids and all of them stir desire in his gut.

"I mean, it's not as if Seungyoon was bad looking, either," Mino adds, teasingly. 

Taehyun can't help but laugh.   
He leans forward, resting his forehead on Mino's. “Okay,” he breathes. He nods slowly, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Mino repeats quietly, reaching out to smooth Taehyun’s worried brow with gentle fingers. He smiles softly, relief relaxing the tense muscles of his body. 

“Don’t worry. It’s you and me. Everything will be alright.”

 

////

 

In the end, it had taken very little convincing for Seungyoon to join them the following weekend. Seungyoon, while initially shocked at the invitation, seemed excited by the prospect.

He had agreed with a bright red flush on his cheeks but also a twinkle in his eye.

Taehyun is noticeably agitated. He stomps around the apartment endlessly while biting what few nails he has left. His brow is furrowed either in apprehension or worry or fear, Mino isn’t quite sure. Maybe all of them. Taehyun is currently in not state to share his inner thoughts.

Mino, on the other hand, doesn’t know enough to know what he should fear, if anything, and so he has the luxury of sitting on the couch with just the tiniest flutter in his stomach while his eyes track Taehyun’s movements to and fro. 

Seungyoon is due to show up any moment.

Deciding that he’s had enough, Mino stands and makes his way to their dry bar, pulling three wine glasses and giving them each a generous pour. He hands one to Taehyun. 

“I think I’ll need something stronger,” he says with a wry smile. Still, he takes it and finishes it off in nearly one long gulp. 

“Wine is meant to be savored, Taehyun,” Mino admonishes. “It’s not what you chug at frat parties.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t a frat party, now is it?” Taehyun throws over his shoulder as he turns to resume his stalking. He can’t keep still.

Mino pours him another glass.

They’ve talked about this extensively throughout the week—him and Taehyun, and then the both of them with Seungyoon. Everyone knows, generally, what they can expect. The rules have been set. Copious amounts of lube and condoms have been purchased and stored in their nightstands for easy access. Their dry bar has been stocked with an assortment of liquors, their colors and bottles reflecting in the ambient light of their apartment.

Taehyun picks up his glass and tosses it back. He sputters a bit.

“Hey.” Mino tugs on his hand before Taehyun can make a break for it. Gently, he gathers Taehyun in his arms. Tilting his head up, Mino smiles when Taehyun finally meets his gaze.

“Hey,” he says again, hands rubbing circles against Taehyun’s back. “It’s us, remember? We’ll always be okay.”

But Taehyun only shakes his head. “How can you be so calm?”

“Because,” Mino pulls him closer. “Because you’re letting me share in this side of you. Something I’ve never been able to see until now. And I always want to see you. I want to share everything with you.”

Just then, a hesitant knock at their door.

“I love you,” Taehyun gasps before pulling Mino in for a breathless kiss. It is desperate and burning and Mino takes as much as he gives, and for a moment everything falls away. It’s just them, in love.

They break apart, panting and clinging, and lips tingling. 

“Ready?” 

A nod. 

A breath.

The door opens.

 

 

Afterwards, after Seungyoon has left them, they take one long shower together, spending the time to lather each other’s hair and place soft kisses onto wet skin. There’s no rush, no hurry. Their hands naturally find home on the other’s body, all gentle caresses and soft strokes. 

It is Taehyun that pulls the dirtied sheets from their bed, kicks them into a corner with the pillowcases and their discarded clothing. The new linen is fresh and cool against their cheeks.

They cuddle. Even exhausted, they fight to stay awake, staring at each other across a shared pillow, their joined hands between them. They don’t say much. They just look and look and let their eyes do all the talking. Let their fingers reclaim what’s theirs. Their lips to provide comfort.

They reassure each one another in whispers, smile at each other delicately, and fall asleep to the promise that all is well.

 

////

 

 

It becomes a regular thing. 

New rules are agreed upon in between heated kisses and wandering hands. Their Saturday evenings are now reserved for a scheduled fucking, after which they part ways rather amicably, Seungyoon giving a little wave before he closes their front door and walks down the hallway to his own apartment. 

Mino had never imagined himself in such an arrangement, and if anyone had told him even a few months back that he would enjoy messing around with Taehyun and their neighbor, in what could be the most satisfying sexual relationship of his life, he would have laughed until he keeled over.

Turns out the joke is on him.

It is the understatement of the year to say that their antics in the bedroom are pleasurable. Just as Mino had never given any serious thought to the idea that he would be a willing participant in a threesome, he also never thought that he would enjoy it as much as he does. In truth, he had never felt so liberated, so gratified, so safe than when he was lost in the heated kisses of both Taehyun and Seungyoon.

He loves the way Taehyun looks at him on Sunday mornings when his eyes flutter open and search for him. Appearing thoroughly ravished and well fucked, Taehyun’s gaze is warm and open, a contented smile creeping on his face as he buries his head against Mino’s chest. It’s this moment that Mino loves the most. Taehyun looks at him like Mino is his entire world. Like he could want nothing more. 

It is because of Mino that Taehyun wakes up on Sunday morning so well satisfied and practically purring in his arms. 

Mino isn’t too proud to say it makes him feel damn good. He’s finally able to give Taehyun what he needs, and for the first time, he feels like he’s the lover he’s always thought Taehyun deserved. The self-satisfied grin he wears doesn’t leave him quickly, and even Seunghoon rolls his eyes when they meet in the elevator on Monday mornings.

In short, Mino’s only regret is that he didn’t think of inviting a third into their bed sooner.

 

////

 

It’s pouring out. 

This is unusual for so late in the season, and it has caught many unaware. Mino included.

He’s standing under the awning of building, the cheap umbrella purchased from the newspaper kiosk lying broken at his feet. The rain doesn’t give indication of letting up any time soon, but still, he stares up at the sky trying to find the inevitable break in the storm. 

A few taxis roll past him, but they’re all occupied and busy bringing dry, warm passengers to their destinations. They have no room for soggy men with broken umbrellas.

The pounding of sneakers on wet pavement.

“Hey! I thought it was you!” An equally soaking Seungyoon runs into the small shelter from the storm. His hair hangs damp and heavy on and head, and his glasses are littered with raindrops, but he’s grinning as he looks up at Mino.

Mino’s breath catches.

“I think we should just make a break for it,” Seungyoon says, uselessly wiping his glasses on his wet shirt as he peers up at the rain clouds.

Seungyoon’s hand is warm when it finds his. Holding on tightly, Seungyoon tugs him out into the storm as they make a mad dash back to their apartment building. Seungyoon’s laughter ringing like tiny bells in his ears.

 

That night, Mino makes love to Taehyun slowly.

He thrusts into Taehyun deeply, making sure he feels each slide of Mino’s cock filling him. He sucks a bruising mark onto Taehyun’s collar bones, and groans when he feels Taehyun clench around him. It’s different than when they’re with Seungyoon, which is frantic and passionate and more often than not, overwhelming.

Here, they can take their time, and as much as Taehyun loves a fast fuck, nothing brings him more pleasure than a slow build culminating in an earth-shattering orgasm that has him coming and coming and coming.

“More,” Taehyun whines, wrapping his long legs around Mino’s back and digging his heels in. 

Mino complies, shifting his weight and angling in the way when he knows Taehyun loves best.

The effect is immediate. Taehyun arches and bites down hard on his lip, hands sliding across Mino’s slick back. 

“Yes, Mino,” Taehyun hisses, pulling at Mino’s hair to drag him in for a kiss. Breaking apart, they pant into each other’s mouths, eyes focused on nothing but each other, as Taehyun’s thighs shake with need. 

Only a few more strokes and Taehyun is biting down on his lip as he comes, Mino’s name wretched from his lips as he releases on their stomachs. When Mino finally follows, he grips Taehyun’s hand hard and whispers words of adoration onto his neck.

 

////

 

Something truly special happened that first night. Something that had changed their dynamic.

Mino had actually liked watching Taehyun fuck another guy. It was incredibly arousing to see his boyfriend get sucked off by their young neighbor. Even now, Mino could still get hard remembering how Taehyun had found pleasure in someone else’s body.

And then there was Seungyoon.

The younger had understandably been nervous, his lithe body trembling as Mino had kissed him experimentally while Taehyun slowly undressed him. Seungyoon was new to them—new to Taehyun and new to Mino, and certainly new to threesomes, but where he lacked experience he made up for with eagerness and a desire to please.

Mino and Taehyun took their time with him, getting him comfortable and letting Seungyoon set the pace for how quickly things unfolded between the three of them. They had let Seungyoon explore them, take his pleasure from them, and gave into every demand whether spoken or not.

Getting used to a new body—a third body—wasn't as difficult or awkward as Mino had imagined it might be. Seungyoon was physically so different from Taehyun, and Mino had relished in discovering all the little things that made him gasp and moan, made Seungyoon whimper with need and sigh with pleasure.  
It had been a learning experience for all of them.

Mino had been amazed that it had worked out as well as it did. There was something about the pull of their bodies, the way they worked with one another in the ultimate pursuit of desire. 

And now he couldn’t get enough. 

What was supposed to be a once a week rendezvous between the sheets ended up being a two or sometimes three times a week. Mino understood he was spiraling into unknown depths, but he found he didn’t much mind.

 

////

 

“So, how’s the demo coming along?”

Mino waits for Seungyoon to finish stepping off the bus. It’s their new thing, riding the bus back to the apartment on Tuesday evenings—Mino from work, Seungyoon from his friend's studio. 

Seungyoon lights up. 

“It’s really great! I feel as if I’m finally making some progress—it was touch and go there for a bit,” Seungyoon replies with a wry grin. “I have to thank Taehyun. He introduced me to some great producers. I’m feeling really inspired.”

“That sounds great.”

“Yeah,” Seungyoon is practically skipping along next to him, his eyes shimmering in the fading light. “Taehyun even got me listening to classical music, believe it or not. Gave me a big list of composers and everything. I didn’t think it was my thing, but I’m actually enjoying it. I’m trying to incorporate a sample or at least elements in some of my songs. I don’t quite know yet how I feel about it, but…you know when you have a word you can’t recall stuck on the tip of your tongue? It’s kind of like that feeling. It’s there, within your reach, but not quite.”

“I’m sure it will come to you in good time. It seems like you’re on the brink of something great. I’m happy for you,” Mino says with a sincere smile. 

“Do you—do you want to take a listen?”

“Now?” 

Seungyoon laughs, peering sheepishly up at Mino through his eyelashes. “I’m boring you, sorry. You must get enough of this at home with Taehyun.” 

Mino shakes his head, choosing to ignore the comment about Taehyun. In truth, he hadn’t spoken to Mino about music in ages. “No, no, I’d be happy to take a listen.”

He feels the familiar pull of desire in his stomach when Seungyoon beams up at him, his excitement barely contained. Mino lets his eyes linger over him as Seungyoon digs into his pocket for a waddled up pair of earphones, jamming them into his phone before handing an earbud to Mino. He pops the other in his own ear.

“Now, I feel the need to manage expectations. What you’re about to hear is in its very early stages. It would be great if you could think of it as…experimental more than anything,” Seungyoon says with a laugh. “And certainly not anything to what Taehyun is able to do.”

Despite the smile on his face, Mino could detect the younger boy’s nervousness in the way he was biting his lip. Cute, he thinks, but instead says, “I promise not to expect too much.”

Seungyoon tilts his head back, his laughter spilling out into the night. Without a word, he hits play. 

Immediately the familiar sounds of an unaccompanied piano filter into his ear. The tempo is sleepy and slow, and next to him, Seungyoon sways on his feet as if lulled to sleep by the music. It isn’t long before violins enter the fray, their soft strings caressing and enhancing the melody, and the back and forth between the instruments—more piano—now more violin—louder here—soft, soft, softer yet—push the music forward measure by measure. Mino watches as Seungyoon’s hands wave in fluid motion, as if he himself is a conductor of an orchestra. The music swells in his ear reminding him all at once of the rushing of water between his toes and cold winter mornings, of tumbling laughter and distant galaxies and the first flush of love.

Seungyoon’s eyelids fall close.

“I love this part,” he whispers so softly that if Mino hadn’t been openly staring at Seungyoon, he would have certainly missed it. Indeed, an electric guitar has made its entrance, leaping and bounding, sometimes accompanying the melody, sometimes playing the harmony, and Seungyoon’s fingers twitch in the air, as if they can’t help but mimic the notes. 

And all at once, it is over.

When Seungyoon opens his eyes, Mino is still watching him. He doesn’t know when they stopped walking, but he finds they are standing very close. He bites his lip, and that draws Mino’s stare. 

Seungyoon steps back. 

“Obviously, it needs some work,” he says with a shy smile. 

“It’s wonderful,” Mino declares with a blush, returning the earbud. 

“Thanks,” Seungyoon accepts with a quick nod before ducking his head. They walked on in a comfortable silence, hands swinging at their sides, their knuckles occasionally brushing as they go.

 

////

 

Taehyun surprises him with tickets to see Mino’s favorite group, performing at a much larger venue. It’s a private joke between them, because on the night they met, Mino never did get to see his favorite group perform. 

It’s exactly like Taehyun—a perfect gift that is both thoughtful and sentimental and Mino should love it, and he does. But he also feels something heavy in his heart when he's reminded, yet again, how perfect Taehyun is for him. 

So Mino buries whatever guilty thoughts and feelings he has, smiles and kisses Taehyun deeply. 

They have a fantastic time at the concert, and when Taehyun pulls him into the crowd and into his arms, smiling and looking up at him with such unreserved affection, Mino forces himself to think only of Taehyun. Of his soft skin and glittering eyes, of his pouty lips and the touch of the man he has adored for years.

 

 

And yet, later that night, Mino pushes Taehyun’s face down into the mattress and takes him from behind. But when he finds release, biting down on his soft skin of Taehyun’s shoulder, it’s to the memory of Seungyoon’s flushed face.

 

////

 

“So I was thinking,” Taehyun says excitedly the moment Mino steps through the threshold of their apartment. “Why don’t we go away this weekend? A mini-vacation? You could take Friday off and we could get out of the city?”

Pausing at the door, Mino’s fingers hesitate on the buttons of his jacket. “This weekend?”

Taehyun pokes his head around the corner, blonde hair flopping into his eyes. “Yep,” he says with a smile.

“I was thinking we could go to the coast—get one of the beachside bungalows,” he says as he rounds the corner, coming up Mino and draping his arms around his neck. “We always talked about it, remember?”

“Right,” Mino nods, smile tight. “Right, of course I do. It’s just—it’s just that it’s not a good time for me to take time off.”

Taehyun pouts, bottom lip protruding. There was a time when this act alone would make Mino move heaven and earth. “It’s just one day though. Please?”

“It may just be one day, but it’s also the end of the fiscal year. It’s an incredibly busy time for us.”

“Please?” Taehyun repeats, nuzzling Mino’s neck and pressing open kisses along his jawline. “Pretty please?”

“Taehyun, I can’t,” Mino says firmly, pushing Taehyun back slightly. “I’m sorry. I—let’s just plan for another time, okay?”

He can’t bring himself to meet Taehyun’s eyes, knowing full well what he’ll find there. Mino hates what he’s doing—or not doing—and he hates how it makes him feel, and, most of all, he hates that if he were brave enough to look up, he would find disappointment and hurt in Taehyun’s gaze. Disappointment and hurt that he placed here.

“Fine,” Taehyun says quietly. “Another time.”

 

////

 

There’s no use in denying that he desires Seungyoon. Desires Seungyoon in a way that he shouldn’t. Desires him in the worst possible way.

Mino knows, without a doubt, that he doesn’t love Seungyoon. He also knows that he doesn’t want a relationship with Seungyoon. There is nothing romantic or emotional in his desire for his younger neighbor—all tender feelings are wrapped up alone in Taehyun. Only Taehyun commands his heart.

But, more and more these days, it’s Seungyoon that Mino craves. 

It is Seungyoon that Mino wants in his bed at night. The physical compatibility he’s found with Seungyoon is unlike any he’s had with anyone else—Taehyun included—and, damn it all, nothing feels as good as when he’s buried to the hilt in Seungyoon’s warm depths. 

Giving into his passion once a few times a week isn’t working for him anymore. He wants more. And it certainly doesn’t help that every time he’s with Seungyoon, Taehyun is there. Taehyun, with his probing eyes and his punishing kisses. Taehyun, his boyfriend. Taehyun, the man he loves. Mino feels as much agony in his heart as he does desire in his loins.

And Mino knows that he should just end it all. They had rules in place for this kind of thing. They had been clear from the start. As free as they are in the bedroom, the main relationship had always been between him and Taehyun—Seungyoon was the outsider—and their agreement was only consensual as far as the three of them were concerned.

Any other coupling with Seungyoon beyond that was just cheating.

That aside, Mino didn’t want to give up what he had with Taehyun for a roll in the sack with Seungyoon. His future was with Taehyun and he wasn’t willing to give that up or what they built for a lust-driven fuck.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to end their arrangement either. Because as much as he hated what he was doing, he couldn’t let go of Seungyoon either. Not when his body could now only find satisfaction between Seungyoon’s thighs. 

Quite honestly, Mino didn’t know what to do.

So he did nothing.

 

////

 

Seunghoon pops a few peanuts into his mouth and sits back in his chair, unimpressed.

“Well, I don’t want to say I told you so, but I have such few joys in life not to indulge. So,” he smirks, and Mino rolls his eyes. “I fucking told you this was a bad idea.”

Seunghoon had known the general gist of their…arrangement almost since it started. That conversation hadn’t gone over all that well. Seunghoon had stared at him long and hard as if he had grown another head, declared him an idiot, and called the whole thing a mistake.

And now he was gloating.

“Yes, great. Thanks. Got anything else for me or are you just going to sit there being smug about it?” Mino replied, wallowing.

The smirk falls from Seunghoon’s lips, replaced by a frown. “I don’t know…” he sighs and shakes his head as he reaches for his drink. They’ve taken to a nearby bar after work, where Mino had promptly unloaded on his friend. “What do you want to do?”

“If I knew, do you think I’d be coming to you like this, asking for advice?”

“There’s no need to sass me, Mino,” Seunghoon tuts reproachfully before asking the big question hanging over them. 

As he gazes across the table at his friend, who sighs in frustration while running his hand through his hair, Seunghoon is struck by his overwhelming sense of sympathy—not for Mino, but for Taehyun. Over the years, Taehyun had moved from his best friend’s boyfriend, to simply his friend. It was true that they didn’t confide often in one another outside of a group setting, but Seunghoon still cared about the younger boy independent of his relationship with Mino. 

And so it was with some regret and disappointment that he sits up and asks, “Do you want to break up with Taehyun?” 

As if responding by gut reaction, Mino gasps as if struck. “No, of course not,” he shakes his head vehemently. “It’s just…just…”

“Do you still love him?”

Mino is more convincing this time. “Yes.”

“Because it’s okay, you know,” Seunghoon’s fingers toy with the rim of his now empty glass. “You can still love Taehyun and not want to be with him anymore. That’s allowed.”

Mino frowns but remains quiet. Witness to such a pitiful scene, Seunghoon can’t help but feel sorry for his friend. 

“Taehyun is my best friend, I wouldn’t do that to him,” Mino declares adamantly, fists clenched in his lap. “There’s no way I’m giving up what we have—what we’ve spent years building together—for a tryst with Seungyoon. What we have is good. Taehyun is where my future is. This is just, I don’t know, a phase or something. I just need to get it out of my system.”

Seunghoon narrows his eyes. “Get what out of your system exactly? Don’t you three still take turns fucking each other’s brains out on a regular basis?”

“Don’t be crass, Seunghoon.”

“I’m just saying, if you already get physical with Seungyoon—albeit with Taehyun in the same room—I don’t know what you need to get out of your system, as you put it. It would be one thing if you felt physically attracted to someone you couldn’t have and wanted to bump nasties with them. That I could understand…”

Mino drops his eyes to stare intently at the grain of the table in front of him. The next words out of Seunghoon’s mouth are devastating to hear aloud. 

“It would be another thing entirely if you were emotionally attached to Seungyoon. That would a bit harder to get out of your system, don’t you think?”

“I don’t want to break up with Taehyun, and I love him. I do,” Mino insists miserably. His mind is a jumble of shame and guilt, and it shows on his face. “I admit that I’m having a harder time with this than I thought I would. When we started this whole thing, I was worried about becoming jealous and the mechanics of the physical aspect of the relationship…I didn’t think about the emotional aspect at all.”

His smile is bitter. “Taehyun, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be have a problem with it.”

It was true, while Mino had found their inclusion of Seungyoon in their bed and in their lives to be transformative, and increasingly confusing, Taehyun found it to be less so. Taehyun was so much better at keeping the physical and the emotional separate. He could ride Seungyoon in one moment and, in the next, send him off with a bag of breakfast muffins without so much a change of pace.   
It was a talent Mino could only wish he also possessed.

“But it doesn’t matter what I might feel towards Seungyoon. I made a promise to Taehyun. We made promises to each other. I intend to keep them,” he finishes.

Seunghoon scoffs. “Please stop acting so noble as if you’re some kind of martyr,” he says with some distaste. “Don’t you think this is disingenuous towards Taehyun, the guy you claim to love?”

“Everyone has urges, right? Everyone has doubts from time to time, don’t they? It’s natural. It’s human,” Mino presses, leaning forward in his seat. “But what makes the measure of a man is how we respond to those temptations.”

“So you’re telling me you intend to do nothing but continue on with this fucked up agreement you have going with Taehyun and Seungyoon?” Seunghoon questions, clearly appalled. “And what, one day you’ll wake up and everything will magically be okay? Come on, Mino. You aren’t this naïve. One way or another your secret is going to be revealed.” 

“What are you suggesting I do then?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Seunghoon is incredulous. “If you’re serious about Taehyun then you need to break it off with Seungyoon, you moron.”

Mino is ashamed to feel something in him recoil at the very thought. Obviously, he knew what he had to do, but he just wasn’t ready. He would do it, eventually. Just…not yet. Not now. 

“He reminds me so much of how Taehyun used to be,” his whispered confession just barely reaching Seunghoon’s ears. Mino refuses to look at him, choosing instead to pick at the dents and dips of the wooden table. “When we first started dating. He’s got that same spark. That same allure. I can’t help it. To want to be around him.” 

Finally, Mino looks imploringly at his friend. “I had thought that opening up our relationship to Seungyoon would bring back that spark. Would make make us closer. Make Taehyun like he used to be…but nothing really has changed. Not really.” 

He pauses. “But…but Seungyoon has that spark. And I just—I just want to hang on to that a little bit longer.”

Seunghoon lets out a colorful string of curses, carding both of his hands through his hair. He immediately flags down a waiter and orders himself a double. He doesn’t bother ordering for Mino.

“You are kidding me?” Seunghoon cries as he wipes the excess off his chin with the back of his hand. “If you miss that Taehyun, then you should talk to him and work on your relationship with him instead of looking outside of it to fill in the gaps. Don’t be such an asshole, Mino. Fuck.”

Mino lowers his gaze, properly chastised.

“Look, Taehyun loves you. For some reason he adores the ground you walk on and all that shit. Most of all, he trusts you. So, I’m sorry but fuck you and your nostalgic allure for Seungyoon and the way Taehyun used to be. You might have started this whole thing for Taehyun, but don't act like like you're not still in this for you. Taehyun deserves better than that.”

With that Seunghoon threw down a couple bills on the table and left the bar. When he arrived home, he found Jinwoo sitting on the couch, disciplining their dog. Collapsing onto the cushions and gathering Jinwoo in his arms, Seunghoon buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.

“Hoon? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and would never take you for granted.”

 

////

 

Mino looks forward to Tuesday evenings.

He and Seungyoon talk about all sorts of mundane things on their walk home—stories about Mino’s co-workers, funny advertisements they come across, interesting anecdotes they’re pretty sure are true even if they don’t have any evidence to support them, and even progress on Seungyoon’s album. 

The bus ride with accompanying walk to their apartment block is only thirty minutes, give or take, but somehow they draw it out by five, fifteen, twenty-five minutes. 

It becomes Mino’s favorite time of the day.

 

////

 

The sex continues to be amazing, and Mino smiles as he remembers Seungyoon’s dominance from the evening before. Lost in his libertine fantasies, Mino fails to realize that he no longer touches Taehyun intimately unless Seungyoon is there.

 

////

 

One evening, he comes home to delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Hearing the front door close, Taehyun’s pokes his head out from around the corner. 

“Oh good, you’re home!” he beams. “I’ve made dinner!”

Taehyun has clearly outdone himself. All of Mino’s favorite foods are present, the table resembling a kind of potluck for two, and Mino makes the appropriate sounds of appreciation with every new dish he tries.

At his elbow, Taehyun looks relieved. He takes a calming breath before flashing him a wan smile and picking up his own fork. Mino nods his head as Taehyun tuts on and on about work and the kids and you wouldn’t believe what happened today!

Afterwards, when Taehyun has run out of things to say and silence falls over them, he turns to Mino, expectant look on his face. “And how was your day?”

Mino only shrugs, chasing his food with a gulp of wine. “It was fine.”

Taehyun waits for more. Waits for a contribution to the conversation. Waits for a question. Waits to be looked at properly. But when he receives none, when Mino just turns back to his dinner plate, Taehyun tries not to be disheartened. 

“That’s great,” he replies softly, picking up his own wine glass.

 

////

 

On Saturday, Taehyun falls ill. 

He lies in bed and insists that he doesn’t need to visit a doctor, a good rest is all that is required, he’s sure, but that also meant he couldn’t possibly be well enough for their usual Saturday night activities with a certain neighbor. 

At his request, Mino begrudgingly calls Seungyoon to let him know that Taehyun was currently indisposed, and so they would have to cancel this week’s…meeting. 

“Oh,” Seungyoon says. “I hope he feels better soon. I heard a nasty bug was going around.”

“Yeah,” Mino replies. 

“Well, thanks for letting me know. I’ll see you around then.”

“Wait!” Mino cries, eager to keep Seungyoon on the phone. He knew he shouldn’t, but he resented the fact that he couldn’t see Seungyoon simply because Taehyun was sick. “Uh, I mean, would you—”

Even he doesn’t know what he was about to ask Seungyoon, and neither of them find out as Taehyun could be heard calling for Mino from the bedroom.

“It seems you have your hands full,” Seungyoon laughs. “I’ll leave you to it. Bye, Mino.”

He hangs up before Mino can even reply. Standing in his living room, Mino stares down at his phone until the screen turns black. He hears Taehyun call for him again. 

Sighing, he tosses his phone onto the couch and walks into the bedroom. 

 

////

 

Mino gets a promotion. 

He’s just got word, having been pulled into a conference room with the higher ups, who slap him on the back and tease him with his new title of manager.

Rushing back to his office, Mino waits until he’s safe behind closed doors before he pulls out his phone. Wide grin on his face, his thumbs dance over the keyboard as he messages Seungyoon with the good news.

It’s their latest thing—sending each other messages on the days they don’t see each other. Sometimes it's just anecdotes about their day, sometimes it's just food pictures, other times its just silly dog selfies, but all of it, to Mino, adds up to being quite the something.

 

////

 

It gets harder to be around Taehyun.

They walk around the farmers’ market, holding hands, and Mino nods as Taehyun points at the different produce on offer. He smiles when it’s appropriate, dutifully shoves their purchases into the canvas bag Taehyun insists upon, and tries to look interested when Taehyun engages a vendor about a new recipe featuring fennel and purple carrots. 

As Mino gazes down at his hands, one holding a bag of produce and the other loosing entwined with Taehyun’s, he has two life-altering epiphanies. 

The first is notable if only for being utterly underwhelming. Song Mino realized his life could be summed up as such: purple carrots and Taehyun.

Which leads to the second epiphany—that is remarkable only in that at one time it had been wholly unfathomable—Song Mino doesn’t want any of it.

Not purple carrots.

And not Taehyun.

 

////

 

Mino starts looking for a new apartment the next day, starts viewing a few listings on his lunch breaks. 

 

////

 

Coming home late after signing the lease on his new place, Mino looked about the space he had called home for the past several years. Feeling more sentimental than he had in a long time in regards to his relationship with Taehyun, Mino walked into their bedroom—still their bedroom—and took a photo strip Taehyun had pressed into the frame of the mirror. 

It was one of his favorite moments.

He and Taehyun had been wandering around at night, still trying to get to know one another, when they came across an old arcade. Grinning, Taehyun had sprinted towards the place, and they proceeded to spend an ungodly amount of money on the different gaming machines. Mino had even tried, for nearly an hour, to win a prize for Taehyun from one of those wretched claw machines.

Defeated and newly poor, Taehyun had tended to his bruised ego by pulling him into a photobooth and promptly sitting on his lap. There, they kissed and made faces at the camera as it snapped their photos.

It would forever be the moment Mino first realized that he had fallen in love with Taehyun.

Pocketing the strip, Mino began to throw his things in a couple suitcases while he waited for Taehyun to arrive home.

 

 

He doesn’t arrive until nearly 3am.

Taehyun tries to slip in as noiselessly as possible, but it was of little use. Mino is sitting in the living room, waiting for him with a scowl on his face.

Mino flicks on a light, and what he sees is the last thing he expected.

Taehyun is standing in their living room—hair disheveled, buttons missing from his shirt, smelling of distinctly of alcohol and…sex. Mino could make out a rather large, purple love bite blossoming on his neck.

“Mino—”

“What the hell?” he yells, jumping to his feet. 

Taehyun wears a look that is a combination of remorse, panic, and fear. “I can explain. Please, Mino, don’t be mad,” he pleads, voice quivering.

“Explain what?” Mino spits. “The fact that you look freshly fucked by someone that was obviously not me?”

Taehyun’s face crumbles and he wraps his arms around his body, tears falling from his eyes. “I’m sorry, I am so sorry,” he cries. “It was a mistake! Please, Mino… please…”

“Who was it?” Mino demands, grabbing Taehyun’s arms. He’s shocked and confused and so so angry because this wasn’t ever supposed to happen. They had made promises to one another. The things that Mino believed were true... 

But Taehyun just shakes his head and cries. Mino grips Taehyun’s chin, forcing the younger boy to look at him. “Who was it?" he repeats, sick to his stomach. "Tell me who the fuck it was!” 

He can barely make out the name that escapes Taehyun’s lips. He whispers brokenly, weeping hard at the confession. 

“Seungyoon.” 

 

 

Seungyoon had called him up and all but begged Taehyun to come out. He had just finished his demo, the master copy in his hands, and he wanted to celebrate. "It's finally done!" Seungyoon had exclaimed happily on the phone. There was no way Taehyun could refuse.

Grabbing his keys, Taehyun had hesitated before deciding against calling Mino. These days, Mino almost never answered his calls, and the replies to his messages—if Taehyun was lucky enough to get one—were brief, non-committal, and completely unsatisfying.

Now there was a word to describe their relationship of late.

Instead, Taehyun scribbled a note and tacked it up on the refrigerator door before slipping out of their apartment.

 

When Taheyun finally finds him at the club, Seungyoon greets him with his usual boyish grin on his face. “You made it!” he says a little sloppily, throwing his arms around the older boy. 

“Congratulations, Seungyoon,” Taehyun squeezes him gently. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help, you know,” Seungyoon says shyly, face slightly flushed from alcohol. “So I’m buying the first round.”

“Only the first?” Taehyun quips.

Seungyoon only laughs, and leads the way to the bar.

 

The music was hypnotic, the beat pulsing through his veins as he danced with Seungyoon. Taehyun hadn’t felt this good—this relaxed—in ages, and it was so easy to give in to the sway of the bodies surrounding him, the familiar and comforting presence of Seungyoon at his side. 

He had pushed all thoughts and worries about Mino and their relationship to the back of his mind. For once—tonight—he wouldn’t be sad over Song Mino.

Through the haze of alcohol and the push of skin on skin, Taehyun couldn’t be sure who initiated the first kiss, but he was certain that it was Seungyoon who smiled up at him before reaching up to pull him in for another.

And another.

And another.

 

 

They end up back at Seungyoon’s where they fuck on his aunt’s bed, knocking over one of her plants in the process. It was different without Mino, but not in a bad way. Taehyun had known—had always known—that Seungyoon liked him more than he ought. And under Seungyoon’s attentions, Taehyun gave himself over to he feeling of being cherished. Of being desired. Cared for. 

Wanted.

 

 

“Seungyoon? You cheated on me with—with Seungyoon?” Mino asks, incredulously. 

“I-I was lonely and Seungyoon confessed that he loved me…”

Seungyoon loves Taehyun. 

Mino could feel his anger drain from his body, his limbs growing heavy and cold. All of his heat, all of his wrath is replaced with feelings of disbelief and the worst kind of betrayal. All at once, the world shifts under his feet, and he can't seem to find his bearings. 

Taehyun grabs his hand. “It didn’t mean anything, Mino, please believe me. It was a mistake. I-I love you.”

Mino feels his chest constrict, the words piercing straight though him as his world tilts and tilts and tilts and refuses to right itself. He shakes his head, gasps for air, and doesn’t say it back.

"You cheated on me," he whispers. He's putting together sounds and syllables and somewhere they make a sentence but still—but still—they don't make sense.

Nothing is making sense.

“I can’t believe you cheated on me,” he says brokenly, looking at Taehyun as if seeing him for the first time. There is a relentless throbbing behind his temples as his mind tries to understand only to falter. "You said you'd never betray me. I trusted you, Taehyun. After everything, all my insecurities, you made me believe you."

At his side, Taehyun weeps openly.

As Mino watches Taehyun fall apart, he can't help remember that, once, they had been happy. That Mino had loved Taehyun. Loved him so much he thought he couldn't live without him. 

Where did they go so horribly wrong? 

Right, wrong, loyalty, fidelity, love… all of them turned to dust in his grasp. Having flown too close to the sun, Mino is now struck by his over-whelming sense of loss.

"You're still the one I want," Taehyun whispers brokenly. "You have to believe that it didn't mean anything to me."

Mino pulls his hand out of Taehyun’s hold. 

"It means something to me," Mino says wretchedly, gesturing to the suitcases placed inconspicuously in the hallway. “I was going to tell you tonight.”

It’s Taehyun’s turn to struggle with reality as he eyes Mino's packed suitcases, the glaring evidence of all their failures. “I—” he tries, dread causing fresh tears to once again pool in his eyes. “W-What are you saying, Mino?” 

It is a curious phenomenon, all the emotions that descend upon him. It’s as close to an out-of-body experience as Mino’s ever had—watching himself reveal his secret to Taehyun. He observes, with morbid curiosity, the way Taehyun shatters under the weight of his words.

Oh, but he’s not done yet.

“I’m in love with Seungyoon.”

 

 

He's swimming. 

He must be. 

He can't see for the water in his eyes. The water in his throat. 

The can't breathe for the pressure on his shoulders, in his lungs. His heart beats widely in protest, slamming against his ribcage. 

He's sinking. 

The world is dimming, soundless. It grows cold around him. 

It is no world Taehyun recognizes. 

 

 

"What?" he gasps, resurfacing. 

He finds himself wanting to default to the things that made him feel safe. Mino. His comforting touch. His reassuring words. Chaste kisses against his forehead. The brush of fingertips against his cheek.

But as he stands in their living room, Taehyun begins to comprehend a new meaning of loneliness. Of the cruel new world which he finds himself in, where lovers turn on each other, and comfort is had to come by.

He stands in this cruel new world, and his best friend is currently breaking his heart.

"I fell in love with Seungyoon," Mino repeats, and he has the audacity to look apologetic for it. "I-I didn't mean for it to happen. I just…I'm sorry, Taehyun."

Taehyun wants to scream because how dare he. How dare Mino be upset with him for sleeping with Seungyoon when Mino went ahead and fell in love with him! And more than that, how dare Mino stand there and looking sorry, staring at him with pitying eyes. 

He forces his chin up. "Why?" he asks, but even to his ears he sounds broken.

Mino looks away. "He just—He's nice. He's easy to talk to…"

"Well, I'm glad you were willing to throw away our years together for someone nice."

Mino scoffs. "You're in exactly innocent in this either, Taehyun."

"No," Taehyun nods. "But the difference between us is that I wasn't lying when I said I loved you."

Mino finds he doesn't quite have anything to that. Instead his eyes land on the hickey on Taehyun's neck. Jealousy quickly replaces shame, anger sweeps aside guilt.

"He reminded me of you," he reveals with a surprisingly steady voice, meeting Taehyun's look of confusion. "He's spirited, and driven. So full of life. He's got this spark… that same spark you used to have."

"So you were just going to trade me in for a younger, newer, sparkly version?" Taehyun asks bitterly. 

"Don't say it like that," Mino frowns. "It wasn't like that."

"It sounds exactly like that," Taehyun retorts. "And if I did lose whatever fucking spark I might have had, I did it for you!"

"No one asked you to, Taehyun!" Mino cries in frustration. "How many times did I ask you about your music, about quitting that stupid job? I didn't want you to be trapped with me—to be another me living a boring life. I tried, Taehyun. I wanted to give you everything, be everything for you, so you could just be…the you I fell in love with."

Taehyun staggers backwards, feeling the weight of Mino's words like a punch in the gut.

"You're so full of shit," Taehyun says, shaking his head to chase away his tears. "You say that, but would you honestly think I was so great if I had gone on tour, if I left to pursue those dreams? I gave those things up because I chose you, remember? Because I thought what we had was better and meant more to me than anything else. I chose you, Mino. And I thought you chose me too."

Mino has to look away, chasten as he is. Because it's true. Once upon a time, he had chosen Taehyun. And, once upon a time, it had been the best decision he had ever made. 

He wonders, briefly, where all his conviction went.

Mino stares at Taehyun helplessly, wanting to understand. How did everything they built together, how did everything they meant to each other… how could all of that mean so little in the end? That they should end up like this?

It had all gone so horribly wrong.

"What happened to us?" The words slip from Mino's lips before he could stop them. The fight in him is gone, dissipated from his veins and leaving behind nothing but acute awareness of everything they had been keeping back, of everything they had been keeping from each other. "How did we get here?"

Across the way, Taehyun sinks into their couch, defeated. "I don't know," he replies sorrowfully.

 

 

Mino glances once more across his pillows, staring at the man lucky enough to find himself in the throes of a dreamless sleep. Emotional, exhausted, they had both collapsed into bed, each keeping to one side.

Everything was unknown and strange and so painful that they couldn't allow themselves the small comfort of a familiar touch.

Eventually, Taehyun found rest, nestling into his pillow, all sniffles and damp hair from his shower. Mino envies him. Dawn is breaking and he’s so, so tired, but sleep continues to elude him. His mind simply refuses to slow down. 

Seungyoon was in love with Taehyun. 

But Taehyun was in love with him. Maybe.

At the moment Mino isn’t sure what he feels. And for whom. 

Because he had been so sure, so certain, that there was something happening between him and Seungyoon. Their endless chats, their evening walks, their clandestine messages. That moment in the rain. Listening to music on the street. All of it, he thought, had meant something. Something more than just friendship and casual sex.

But then, Seungyoon was in love with Taehyun.

Humiliation burns his skin. All this time, through everything, it was clear that Mino had misinterpreted all of Seungyoon’s good will, his smiles, his laughter. Mino had fancied himself in love with his spark, only to realize now that it was never for him. 

And then there was Taehyun.

When he had come home that night, evidence of his affair all over his body, Mino's heart had plummeted at the sight. Even now, the thought that Taehyun had chosen to be intimate with someone else, had given someone else Mino's rightful place, makes his stomach churn. And he knows what that sounds like—what it makes him—considering he had been planning his own exit from their relationship for weeks now, but Mino had honestly thought he and Taehyun had reached their end. That their relationship had run its course. His attraction to Seungyoon was certainly evidence of that, wasn't it?

But if that were true, why did Mino feel so sick at the thought that Taehyun might now leave him? 

Remembering Taehyun's confession of loneliness, Mino considers the role he might have played in forcing him into another man's arms. How his actions might have contributed to the deterioration of intimacy in their relationship, and how things might have been different had he never approached Taehyun to bring a third into their bedroom.

Maybe then, he and Taehyun would still be okay.

But maybe they still could be. 

Because, despite everything, Taehyun is still the one in his bed and at his side. Taehyun, who had once been his entire world. Taehyun, who had loved him. Who maybe still did. 

Soft sunlight filters through the curtains.

Mino watches as it chases away the lingering shadows. 

He turns towards Taehyun gazing at his sleeping form with new wonder. 

Maybe they still could be. 

 

 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [WINNEREXCHANGE 2016](http://winnerexchange.livejournal.com/19288.html). Minor edits have been made to this version. 
> 
> This is the most difficult story I have ever written, and, in all honesty, it wouldn't have gotten done if it hadn't been for my beta reader--thank you for being amazing & holding my hand & bringing me back from the edge <3


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